Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Seriously! Enough with these addicitions! First, it was Ringo.com. I would be like checking it every hour to see who has asked to join my list of friends or whatever. Then, it was Tickle.com...making up a quiz and taking your friends' quizzes. And now, blogging. I'm like...reading other people blogs, every now and then. Even when I get home. Last night, I spent well over an hour, reading blogs, before heading to bed. Finish! Although, I have to say...some blogs are very interesting and others...well, let's just say that they shouldn't have started. They just simply say "hi". And...?
Gay and Christian. Some would say that's an oxymoron, while others wouldn't. Some would say...who cares what you do...your relationship with God is your own business. I agree that one can be Gay and a Christian. But, then why does one have to say..."I'm Gay and Christian." You don't hear other people say "I'm White (or whatever race/ethnicity) and Christian" or "I'm an Alcoholic and Christian" or "I'm a Pot Head and Christian".
I was practically raised in the church. I've been attending church for as long as I can remember. I was first raised as a United Pentacostal. Lots of people would say..."ugh, that's a cult." Whatever. It's not something you would understand. Although, I can understand why they would view it as a cult...it's beyond their comprehension. Before I hit my teen years, my family switched to non-denominational Christianity. I was enrolled in a Christian private school when I was in 5th grade. Graduated from there as a validictorian. Even went on to Bible college for a semester. I didn't hate my private school. I love it!
The earliest age that I can remember being attracted to the same sex was 5. Since then, I never knew it was homosexuality. It wasn't until in my teen years when I first learned that word. I, then, knew it applied to me. From that point on, I would pray to God..."oh please...take this feeling away from me", etc. When I went to Bible college, I knew from that point on, that I would always be gay and nothing would change that.
Solved? Ha! In your dreams! It's even worse...in my opinion, for those who have been raised in a Christian environment and to finally accept the fact that you are gay. It's hard! I mean, how could I, at that time I was 19, throw away 19 years of Christian doctrine, without a second thought? That's just hard. It's not easy. You struggled being gay and verses being recited in your head.
My cousin, Shirley, once asked me, " How can you believe or support a religion that's against gays?" Well, how can I just toss it away? It's like...it's a part of your identity. All I can say is that I'll always believe in God, Christ, etc. Nothing could ever make me renounce Him. Please keep in mind that I'm not saying that I know EVERYTHING about the Bible. I wish...wouldn't that be cool? I just know what I know. I just understand what I understand.
I came out to my parents during Christmas of 2000. My mom said she has suspected all along. Of course, mothers always know. Of course, them being Christians, they have problems with it. I got the numerous lectures/sermons about Heaven and Hell. It's like...God, don't you think I know a thing or two about the Bible?
Recently, I had been Googling about the Bible and homosexuality. I'm just more confused. Been reading this site that's all about religious tolerance. This site maintains that there's a difference between the Liberal and Conservative Christianity. The conservative Christians maintain that all the verses regarding to male-to-male sex is homosexuality, regardless. The liberals state that those verses were applied to the temple priests and Jews of those times. The liberals bring up Greek words and other languages that were mistranslated. They also say that the conservatives do not want to deal with this and just plainly say that homosexuality is wrong. Anyways, instead of going into details...it was a very interesting site and brought up some really good points. (I realized earlier that I said I was confused...I guess I was raised as a conservative Christian and just never knew there was another side to it.)
My mother, who passed away on 12/30/03, shared something with me, in her last days. I believe this was back in October...she wanted to talk to me about my spirituality. I told her...Mom, this is something that's been with me since I was 5. It's not like a recent thing. How do you deal with that? And plus, what's wrong with whom I want to love? What's wrong with me loving Kitch? Mom looked at me and said..."I, as a human, agree with you. I see that you and Kitch love each other. I see that you're happy with him. I wondered...what is wrong with that? It's love, isn't it? Isn't that what matters? However, because I believe in the Bible and the Bible says it's wrong. I, therefore, cannot endorse it." It was somewhat comforting to me. Because I got know what my mother, as herself, felt about my relationship with Kitch.
I've learned to come to the conclusion that everyone is on a different path to the end. I've come to learn that everyone has a different interpretation of the Bible or any other religion or religious texts. I've come to learn that people will always judge you, no matter what you do. You can't make everyone happy. All you can do, is be happy and seek the truth for yourself.
I know some of you will be reading this and say "hey, is that all?" or "you're so wrong". Well, keep in mind that I've left lots of loose ends on this topic or were not quite in chronological order of my spiritual path. I guess I just wanted to babble what was on my mind from some time ago. I know that if I were to tie up loose ends...this entry would be endless.
By the way, if you're interested...check out this site. Smoke and Mirrors Read the entry for 3/15/04, titled Dr. Laura. Read especially the questions below the picture of Dr. Laura. These are some interesting questions and bring up good points.
Anyways, better shut up for now before I keep talking.
ta ta
|
Gay and Christian. Some would say that's an oxymoron, while others wouldn't. Some would say...who cares what you do...your relationship with God is your own business. I agree that one can be Gay and a Christian. But, then why does one have to say..."I'm Gay and Christian." You don't hear other people say "I'm White (or whatever race/ethnicity) and Christian" or "I'm an Alcoholic and Christian" or "I'm a Pot Head and Christian".
I was practically raised in the church. I've been attending church for as long as I can remember. I was first raised as a United Pentacostal. Lots of people would say..."ugh, that's a cult." Whatever. It's not something you would understand. Although, I can understand why they would view it as a cult...it's beyond their comprehension. Before I hit my teen years, my family switched to non-denominational Christianity. I was enrolled in a Christian private school when I was in 5th grade. Graduated from there as a validictorian. Even went on to Bible college for a semester. I didn't hate my private school. I love it!
The earliest age that I can remember being attracted to the same sex was 5. Since then, I never knew it was homosexuality. It wasn't until in my teen years when I first learned that word. I, then, knew it applied to me. From that point on, I would pray to God..."oh please...take this feeling away from me", etc. When I went to Bible college, I knew from that point on, that I would always be gay and nothing would change that.
Solved? Ha! In your dreams! It's even worse...in my opinion, for those who have been raised in a Christian environment and to finally accept the fact that you are gay. It's hard! I mean, how could I, at that time I was 19, throw away 19 years of Christian doctrine, without a second thought? That's just hard. It's not easy. You struggled being gay and verses being recited in your head.
My cousin, Shirley, once asked me, " How can you believe or support a religion that's against gays?" Well, how can I just toss it away? It's like...it's a part of your identity. All I can say is that I'll always believe in God, Christ, etc. Nothing could ever make me renounce Him. Please keep in mind that I'm not saying that I know EVERYTHING about the Bible. I wish...wouldn't that be cool? I just know what I know. I just understand what I understand.
I came out to my parents during Christmas of 2000. My mom said she has suspected all along. Of course, mothers always know. Of course, them being Christians, they have problems with it. I got the numerous lectures/sermons about Heaven and Hell. It's like...God, don't you think I know a thing or two about the Bible?
Recently, I had been Googling about the Bible and homosexuality. I'm just more confused. Been reading this site that's all about religious tolerance. This site maintains that there's a difference between the Liberal and Conservative Christianity. The conservative Christians maintain that all the verses regarding to male-to-male sex is homosexuality, regardless. The liberals state that those verses were applied to the temple priests and Jews of those times. The liberals bring up Greek words and other languages that were mistranslated. They also say that the conservatives do not want to deal with this and just plainly say that homosexuality is wrong. Anyways, instead of going into details...it was a very interesting site and brought up some really good points. (I realized earlier that I said I was confused...I guess I was raised as a conservative Christian and just never knew there was another side to it.)
My mother, who passed away on 12/30/03, shared something with me, in her last days. I believe this was back in October...she wanted to talk to me about my spirituality. I told her...Mom, this is something that's been with me since I was 5. It's not like a recent thing. How do you deal with that? And plus, what's wrong with whom I want to love? What's wrong with me loving Kitch? Mom looked at me and said..."I, as a human, agree with you. I see that you and Kitch love each other. I see that you're happy with him. I wondered...what is wrong with that? It's love, isn't it? Isn't that what matters? However, because I believe in the Bible and the Bible says it's wrong. I, therefore, cannot endorse it." It was somewhat comforting to me. Because I got know what my mother, as herself, felt about my relationship with Kitch.
I've learned to come to the conclusion that everyone is on a different path to the end. I've come to learn that everyone has a different interpretation of the Bible or any other religion or religious texts. I've come to learn that people will always judge you, no matter what you do. You can't make everyone happy. All you can do, is be happy and seek the truth for yourself.
I know some of you will be reading this and say "hey, is that all?" or "you're so wrong". Well, keep in mind that I've left lots of loose ends on this topic or were not quite in chronological order of my spiritual path. I guess I just wanted to babble what was on my mind from some time ago. I know that if I were to tie up loose ends...this entry would be endless.
By the way, if you're interested...check out this site. Smoke and Mirrors Read the entry for 3/15/04, titled Dr. Laura. Read especially the questions below the picture of Dr. Laura. These are some interesting questions and bring up good points.
Anyways, better shut up for now before I keep talking.
ta ta
|
