Thursday, December 30, 2004
Deaf Doctors and Growing...
Of course, dealing with death doesn't really end. You go through a period of grieving right after the death of a loved one. And then, when you think you're done, it hits you again.
It's been a tough year, especially being so far apart from family members. However, I take comfort being with KT and friends. KT has really been patient and supportive. I look back and see just how thoughtful he has been for me.
I got up this morning and immediately thought of Mom. I realized just how much I've missed her and it's only been a year. I know that missing her will just build and build. It'll never go away, not that I want it to. I haven't cried or anything yet, but I know that my moment is bound to happen soon. Probably like in the next 5 minutes, while or after I'm talking about my mother.
I saw my Dad online and I could just imagine what he's going through. I sent him a little "hello" and "I'm thinking of you on this day". He hasn't responded. So, I'm not sure if he's just grieving so much to respond or asleep. He doesn't leave his AIM on forever. Since Mom died, he's been working overnight shifts.
I just hope that my Dad and my Aunt Mary are ok on this day. Yeah, I'm alright.
The other night, KT and I were going through our photos. I came across this photo of Mom before this whole cancer even started. (If I can find a scanner, I'll have it scanned and post it here.) It was a picture of me and her, at night. We must've been coming out from some place or whatever. It was a picture of us laughing, really hard. That's one of the things I miss about her, her laughter..along with her love and quirky humorous remarks. And that's how I'd like to remember her...laughing.
I miss you terribly so! You're always on my mind and in my heart. I know that you're around me. Thank you for sending messages here and there, like the yearbook dedicated to you and the name plaque. Even though you're gone, I still love you! I certainly hope that where you are now is beautiful, that words cannot describe it. I know that you're better off there than here with the pain you were suffering with. One day, we'll all be together. Until then, stay close to us.
Elvia B. Gray
December 9, 1955 - December 30, 2003
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
This set contains the first 3 books, The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room and The Wide Window. Those poor Baudelaire orphans, having to deal with unfortunate events in their lives and dealing with Count Olaf. Very easy to read as they are targeted to young readers. The only negative I have about them is that the author uses "big" words, for the young readers, and then provides the definitions for them, either from the author or from the characters. I think they shouldn't be provided, that way it would motivate the readers to search a dictionary if they really want to know what those words mean.
Totally loved this book. It was hilarious to me. It's about this gay man, in the advertising field, and his drinking problem. It gets out of control and his boss gives him an ultimatum: lose your job or go into rehab. He chose rehab and wrote about his experiences in and out of rehab, including falling in love with a guy, recovering from his crack habit and dealing with the death of a close friend. This book is worth reading!
Patricia Cornwell is one of my favorite authors. I was so excited when I got this book for Christmas. I was gonna save it for last. But, I just couldn't wait. So, I'm reading it now and just happy to read another story about Kay Scarpetta. Will let you know what I think of this book.
ta ta for now...
Rachella is the same ol' gal! I truly miss being with her and just being silly about things. Below is the pic of me and her at 4 in the morning or something like that, just before KT and I had to leave for the airport. I told her just get up and let me snap a pic of her. But nooooo, she had to put on some makeup and some decent clothes before I could snap a pic.
I forgot to include a couple pictures of her cats, Panthea and Pan. Hopefully, I'll remember to go home and add those pictures.
Hi! I'm back! I never actually went anywhere for the holidays. Just stayed home and basically relaxed.
Last week Thursday, work closed early. I went to see Cliff and spent some quality time with him, along with Emerson and witnessed a mini drama with Cliff's now former roommate. Then KT picked me up and we went grocery shopping and did some cleaning around the house.
It felt so good to sleep in late on Friday. Work was closed for the day. Finally was able to finish up Christmas wrapping. Then, in the late afternoon, we went over to Jon's house to watch his football game (Minnesota Vikings). Actually, KT and Jon watched the game, while Krista and I went upstairs and watched Rundown, which was actually a good movie. However, before we watched the movie, Jon had made some nachos, pigs in the blanket and he had gotten a tray of nuggets from Chik-Fil-A. Mmmm, so good! Of course, we all had stuffed ourselves!
After the game/movie, we all headed out to Silver Spring to watch a RWC of Meet the Fockers. KT and I used our free movie tickets from the last time we went to movies but ended up not able to do so because of a caption fuck-up. After buying some junk food, we settled our asses and set our reflective panels in place to read the captions and waited for the movie to start. After all the previews were shown, the movie started. Well, whadda ya know? The captions did not come on. Not again!!! Jon went out to talk to the manager about it and somehow the theatre didn't get the captions in on time, because of the holiday. So, each of us were given 3 free movie passes. Well, now I can't really complain. However, that wasn't the end of it. KT told the manager that we should get our money back for the food because they're not cheap, which is true! Yep, we all got our money back. Thanks to KT!
Well, everything else was closed. So, we headed back to Jon's and had more nachos and just chatted and laughed til past midnight.
Saturday morning was spent with opening gifts with KT. I sure hope that KT liked that stuff that I got him. I know that he truly likes the video games that I got him. We both got lots of clothes for work, which is nice because it was starting to feel like we were wearing the same clothes over and over. I got LOTS of books, which KT was able to do so because of the WishList I have posted on my blog. Already read 4 books and now on my 5th. The best gift of them was a bike! I was so not expecting that. I really miss riding a bike. Now, I just have to wait for warm weather to go out riding.
Then, that afternoon, Jon, Krista, Cliff, Kekua, and Euggy came over to have Christmas "lunner" at our place. I had been freaking out for the past day or two that we weren't gonna have enough food for all these people. Boy, was I wrong! We had SO MUCH food that I felt like 10 more people could've come and still have plenty left. We were all so stuffed that we barely ate any desserts. All in all, I was glad that everyone had a wonderful time together.
Sunday was spent quietly while we were all bloated from the food from the past few days. Cliff had spent the night and was spending the day washing all his clothes at our place. It was good to spend some time with him.
Until school resumes in January, I'm off on Mondays. KT also took this particular Monday off to spend some more time with me. Basically just relaxed and did a little bit of shopping. We had eaten so much sugar and carbs that we just felt soooooo tired to do anything. I'm serious...I feel like I've gained like 25 pounds from the last few days of eating. I'm so scared that I don't wanna get on the scale.
Last night, I finally transferred the pictures from the camera to the computer. I was looking at pictures with me in it. I thought, "OMG, Larry, you have bloated BIG TIME!" In January, after my mother's burial, I started on the South Beach diet and I did pretty well. Lost almost 30 pounds. That was until 4th of July. KT and I decided that we did so well that we should be allowed some carbs for the 4th. Well, from that point on, we just never quite got back on track. So, now, I really need to work on my weight and shed some decent pounds off my body. No, not decent...MAJOR pounds! Especially before RAD in July!
Well, I'll post some more later about other stuff. Ta ta for now...
Thursday, December 23, 2004
There was a movie, starring Auh-nold, which I can't remember which because he's in a lot of sci-fi movies. This movie, he goes into a pet store to have a dog (I believe) cloned because one had died and his son was really down about it.
Well, I got up this morning to read that there was a kitten cloned for $50,000! Wow! Yeah, I'd be really sad if one of my cats died. But, I'm not so sure I'd shell out $50,000 to have it again. (Where the hell am I gonna scrape up $50K?!?!)
Anyways, the Genetic Savings and Clone is expecting to clone dogs pretty soon because they feel would be more profitable than cloning cats.
Gay Teen Kicked Out of Christian School
I can relate to this guy. I graduated from a private Christian school. And I was gay. I made sure that my "secret" was so well hidden so that I could graduate from the school.
You might ask why that heck would I wanna graduate from a school that wouldn't have accepted me, as a gay person, in the first place. Well, I just cannot explain it but it was a GREAT school. I excelled in a lot of areas in that school that I graduated as a validictorian.
I guess it wasn't until my sophomore or junior year when I finally accepted, to myself, that I was gay. Of course, growing up in a Christian environment, I knew that it would be seen as a conflict. I enrolled into that school as a 5th grader. I didn't want to be expelled and having to start over in a public school. All my friends went to the private school and I wanted to graduate with them.
I had heard stories from others having to move to another school in their junior or senior year and life hadn't been the same. There is no bond with the new school. I didn't want that for me. Plus, I had no one else to confide, at that time. I felt all alone and I thought it would just be earth-shattering if anyone, especially in the church and school, found out about me being gay.
Even with resources more readily available now than a few years back, it is still scary for gay teens to come out or confide to anyone. They're not blind to the nation's, if not the world's, stance on homosexuality. Until then, we still have a lot on our plate to work on and try to make a better life for our future generation.
Hmm, 2 Deaf guys in one year. Not bad!
Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)
sung by Amy Grant
I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father you have come
And chosen me now
To carry your son
I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now
Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven
Breath of heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy
Breath of heaven
Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
*This song was signed by a friend of mine, right after I graduated from high school, at a Christmas pagaent as a surprise. It was just truly beautiful!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
We were talking and all of sudden, we're just saying some stupid things and the next thing you know, we're like trying our damnest not to laugh out loud. Yet, you end up making weird noises while muffling your laughter. It got so bad that we both had to leave our offices and go laugh elsewhere.
Now, I'm like looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is passing by with a disapproving look. Oh well...
Ever had that moment?
Well, on the way during the night, all the luggages and stuff on the top of the car, you know the cargo case and fixtures, flew off. Everyone in the car is Deaf, except the son, who must've been asleep. They didn't notice this until the sun was up.
Anyways, my friend feels really bad because it was her car and I'm assuming she was the driver during this particular time. So, gone are all their clothes, stuff and Christmas gifts. Gone. I felt sick as she was telling me this incident. Of course, she was crying and hurting because she blames herself for this whole thing. I can totally understand how she is feeling. If that happened to me, I would've cried my head off.
The worst part is that she had some Christmas gifts for her son. And now, nothing. You know, she's one of those single mothers that is really having it hard in life but is trying her damnest to get her degree and get a better paying job to provide a better quality of life for her and her son.
Anyways, she's having to start all over for her and her son. I just wanted to go to her and just hug her and let her worries melt away. If only life was that simple.
You know, the holidays can be tough for some people. There are people out there with no families and friends. KT and I have opened up our home for Christmas for a small gathering of our friends. No one deserves to be alone on this special day. Christmas is all about being in the company of people and sharing joy.
I hope that my dad will be alright during this holiday. My mother/his wife passed away last year. So, Mom will definitely be on my mind. In fact, she has been in my mind more frequently than ever before. I'm just remembering the last days with her. I'm ok though. I just wonder about my dad. I do wish we could be together. However, Dad said he's thinking of coming up for Spring Break. I hope so. It'll be good to see him once again.
Anyways, I hope that you can include some people, who are out there with no one, into your home or life, even just for a few hours. You just never know that your small acts of kindness can do wonders for them.
To everyone, have a wonderful holiday season!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Dawn of the Dead was an interesting movie. I commented to KT, "Shit! Those zombies sure do run fast!" Usually, when you watch movies, involving zombies or the living dead, they straddle slowly (like the Kappa Gamma guys when they're doing their march) and their arms outstretched. Well, in this movie, dang, they ran like they were Flo-Jo.
In the beginning of the movie, there was a suspenseful moment and of course, KT just HAD to scare me by reaching out to me quickly and yell "BOO!". Of course, being the sissy I am, I jumped a mile high from my seat. After catching my breath and retrieving my heart back from flatlining, I "chop-signed" STOP on KT's arm, more than I intended to. Well hell, he deserved that! *flinging my follically-challenged hair* (Sorry, KT...wanna me kiss your boo-boo?)
I met up with Cliff the other day and we were talking about this movie. We were like what if this actually happened? We went through a list of possibilities. Anyways, it made me think that I'd love to see a version of this movie but with gay characters and just how they would react. LOL That would be interesting to watch!
I totally enjoyed I, Robot! I couldn't help but laugh at the special effects, influenced by Matrix. I think it was the first time I've seen robots combat each other.
I couldn't help but think if I would ever utilize robots in my life, if it ever happened. Heck, I don't even use the dishwasher! Yes, I wash them all by hand. I guess I just like doing things by myself.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to watch more movies, during this wonderful holiday.
ta ta for now...
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Police & Stun Guns on Children
Thursday, December 16, 2004
For a short moment, I could feel the loads of stress lifting off of me. However, I started thinking about how I needed to start Christmas shopping and KT's parents will be visiting this weekend and the house is a mess (most of it is my junk). So, stress is back. Luckily that stores have longer hours during the holidays so don't be surprised to find me shopping late at night. Unless...I do all my shopping online. That's an idea...
Anyways, I'm just glad that school is practically over for me. Learning from this semester, I'll be more prepared for the following semesters.
Well, that's all I wanted to say. So, ta ta...
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
I think I'll be in the doghouse for awhile with these people...
Of course, we all know that these security checks at the airports were a direct result from the 9/11 crash into the Twin Towers. Well, ok...we had security checks before but they were not strictly enforced. We used to be able to bring an entourage of family and/or friends to come all the way to the gates to see us off. A lot of "used to's" were done but have since ceased since the 9/11 incident.
When these security checks were strictly enforced, of course we all had reacted negatively, for a variety of reasons. I remember some of the women were like..."ohmigawd, they have to search my purse?!?" People who loved to bring weed on the plane were complaining because of the loss of profits and having to resort to other modes of transportation. The majority of us were like..."what? we can't carry on our razors, nail clippers, nail files?" or whatever other things we like to bring with us but are now forbidden. However, the complaints were short lived. We've pretty much accepted the "rules" and just lined up, like cows waiting to be butchered, to be checked by security.
Nowadays, there are even random strip searches. Yeah, we all freak out but again, it's short lived. When we get checked, we have to take our hats off, unbuckle our belts and take off our shoes and reach out for those endless coins in our pockets. (Why is it when we're at the airport, you suddenly have like $20 dollars worth of coins, in your pockets?) I mean really...that's a hassle! After your things have been scanned on the conveyor belt, you hurry to grab your things out of those gray trays, otherwise you'd be holding up the line and get rude stares from others. And you give them the look like..."well, fuck you too!" Then, you find an empty seat and put on your hats, belts and shoes. That is...if you haven't been randomly selected to be electronically scanned by a guard with those black paddles.
But again, we complain at first and then just accept it as a part of the ritual of going to the airport. There hasn't been a huge protest or boycott of this practice. There hasn't been a lawsuit, with the hope to put an end to this practice or at least reduce the activity. Many people have rationalized that at least they feel safer going to the airports with all these security checks. Do you really feel safer?
Anyways, we've pretty much shut our mouths and just do what the security guards want us to do. Open up our laptops, our purses, our manbags, our backpacks, our carry-ons and hope not to be set aside for further searches. Open and shut: zip, snap, click. Then, on to your merry ways.
Perhaps the reason for this acceptance is because this isn't a new thing. You might think so but let's go back a little in time and technologies. Prior to 9/11, reality shows have been on the rise on television. There were Real World, Road Rules, Survivor and a few others. Believe it or not, after 9/11, you are blind not to notice that reality shows have skyrocketed! Of course, there isn't a connection between 9/11 and these shows. However, my point is that we love watching what's going on with other people's lives. You can practically find a reality show, just about anything! Cops, Biggest Loser, Trading Spouses, Extreme Makeovers, The Swan, The Apprentice, Amish in the City, Big Brothers, American Idols, and millions of others.
Let's move on other things. Surveillance cameras are everywhere! ATM's, banks, stores, parking lots, schools, and many other places. Heck, you can buy a hidden camera and spy on your babysitter or maid! Cameras everywhere and we don't freak out. Safety is the reason we utter. I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
The Internet is a wonderful thing. Is it? You can be your own private investigator and buy classified information on some people for mere bucks. Profiles are publicly displayed. Blogs for the world to read about you. Which is why those people, whom I had a mini blog drama some time ago, are stupid for thinking that their blogs are private and not for the world to see.
After 9/11, Homeland Security was created. HS came up with the Patriot Act, giving the government the right to gain access to information for reading materials you have been researching in public libraries and other such actions. We've griped and bitched, yet has that stopped us from checking out books or whatever? No.
I could go on and on. My point is that we've become a nation of voyeurs and have pretty much accepted it. While we might not have a camera following us 24-hour, yet when we're pried on or ask to reveal our contents, we usually comply without causing a scene.
So, really...was it really a surprise for us when the Patriot Act was enacted or when the security checks at the airports have been enforced?
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
So, Happy Belated Birthday to Clitch!
No worries, I know that KT and I will take him out for a dinner or whatever. Meanwhile, Clitch and KT are doing a good job making me feel bad! :-(
By the way, I usually wish people a "Happy Birthday" to my friends on my blog but failed to do so for 2 others who had a birthday in November, Rachella and VeeVee. At least, I sent them a card. So, Happy Belated Birthday!
I know, I know...I haven't been blogging regularly. Been busy with papers and projects. No more classes but still have to do some papers. Just turned in a big take-home exam for one class. I'm SO glad to get that over with. I think I've been working on the paper for like 4 or 5 days...of course, with interruptions in between.
Once I get that out of the way, then I can blog to my heart's content. I've been meaning to post some pics but not until I get some free time!
Well, I guess I better get back to work and then on to my next paper. ta ta...
Friday, December 10, 2004
After our class last night, KT told me that he will drop me off at home and then he had to go Christmas shopping. While waiting for KT to come back home, I made dinner and did a bit of cleaning up.
KT came home and we had our dinner, sloppy joes. After dinner, KT told me to close my eyes. Then, he tapped me and I opened my eyes. Presented to me was this cute mini birthday cake, in honor of my mother.
Only a wonderful man like KT would do such a thoughtful gesture!
That's why I love KT!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
I sure do miss shopping for gifts to give to her and doing something special. I miss her joy and her laughter. You know, mothers have a way of picking on us and I miss that from her.
Ah, Mom, wherever you are, just wanted to say Happy Birthday!
I love and miss you so much!
Monday, December 06, 2004
While KT was napping to his heart's content on Saturday afternoon, I was flipping through the channels to see what was on tv. I came across this Korean movie, The Way Home, as it was just about to start and settled for it.
This movie is about a boy who has been dropped off, by his mother, at his poor grandmother's house, who is mute. The boy is really spoiled and such a BRAT! The grandmother is just really giving, humble and doesn't get angry with him.
If you like movies that goes slow, then check it out. What's interesting about this film is that the grandmother and the boy aren't professional actors, yet this film was a big hit in Korean theatres. At the end, there is a dedication to all the grandmothers. Aww, perfect for Mother's Day.
After the movie was over, I got up to wash dishes. While I was washing, I just happened to think of Mom and yep, was crying my eyes out. After watching the movie, it made me reflect myself as a kid and a teenager. While I was a good boy, there were moments where I was just a major pain in the ass. Well, weren't we all? (In fact, some prolly still are.)
Except, my mother thought the world of me. She gave and gave, even when she couldn't afford it or didn't agree with it. Like the grandmother in the film, she didn't have a mean streak within her.
I just made me appreciate her even more, even though she's gone. Not to say that I never did appreciated her in the first place. Sometimes, when someone dies or is gone from your life, you'll have these moments of reflection and they seem to speak louder to you now than before.
I'm just thankful that I had a wonderful mother and that she loved me endlessly. Of course, that just made me miss her terribly!
I realized that I never did finish the story about my mother. I'll be sure to find more pics of my mother and post them here.
ta ta for now...
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Kweisi Mfume, president of NAACP, also resigned from his position. He cited his reason that he wanted to spend more time with his family, especially with his 14 y/o son.
Tom Ridge, Secretary of Homeland Security, has submitted his resignation. He will always be remembered for the color chart system, which has received heavy criticism. He is the 7th Cabinet member of the Bush Administration to have resigned from their posts.
On a separate issue...
A few days old, but vee! Last week Thursday, in Ukraine, an interpreter, Natalia Dimitruk, started to sign differently than what the Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovich was saying in his victory speech. Instead, she was signing her personal opinions about the new PM and was basically saying that everything was a lie.
Who knows what was done to her? Even she wondered because she said "I do not know if you will see me again."
Talk about a breach of the Code of Ethics for interpreters. Of course, who knows if Ukrainian interpreters even have a COE to abide by. I'd like to say that the American interpreters follow the COE faithfully but I know that's not true. Some interpreters and even agencies have been lax about following protocols. In some ways I like the COE and some ways I don't. I guess you could call it a love-hate relationship.
Quote of the Day:
"I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave, with all five fingers."
--President George W. Bush
LOL! Obviously, some Canadians greeted him with the middle finger.
Anyways, we saw some movies which we hadn't been able to have time to watch. In other words, instead of taking advantage of our "free" weekend by catching up with our graduate studies, we just did everything else but that.
KT's parents kept telling us about this movie they had seen and wanted us to see it. So, we watched Secondhand Lions.
It was actually a good wholesome movie. It was funny as well. It was like a combination of Grumpy Old Men and The Waltons...something like that. It is worth watching it.
The next movie we saw was White Chicks.
Gosh, talk about hilarious! KT and I were just howling with laughter. If you haven't seen it yet, you gotta! Ever since Cliff and Rosey saw this movie, they've been telling 'your momma' jokes. I'm bad with jokes! I had to Google the momma jokes just to be able to exchange them.
Then, I got to see Secret Window, starring Johnny Depp.
However, I thought it was predictable yet it was still enjoyable to watch.
It was good to get out of town for a few days. Now that we're back, we'll be busy tyring to finish up our projects and assignments. 2 more weeks of school!!! I SOOO cannot wait!
...and yes, we did get to see Rachella. Will post more about that later!