Reflections: Sifting Realities

KT, very creative blog! (Bitch!)

Ray got her comments installed. Yay! So, go comment on her blog!

ta ta...
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A welcome back from your hiatus, Drama Queen!

Well, I'm gonna go home and relax tonight. I'm having my wisdom teeth pulled out tomorrow morning. So, if you don't see any new entries, you know why.

So, gonna have a GOOD dinner that KT is gonna make! Mmmmm!

Yes! Rachella is gonna have comments in her blog. She'll just have to wait til I recover before I can help her. Unless any of her friends who have comments on their blog can guide her.

ILY

ta ta...
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First of all, the settlement of our house has been postponed to early May. Ok, that's not so bad...at least, from the sound of things, looks like we'll be getting the house. Hold, no celebrations yet!

Last night, a gang of us took our friend for a real birthday dinner at Tia's in Bowie. It's the best Tex-Mex restaurant in the area. Of course, not like the food in Texas but the closest...better than Chevy's and Don Pablo's. Anyways, we all had a good time. The birthday girl and I each had a margarita. Whooo! Just what I needed...a good buzz! Heh, we were all being mean at the end. We told her that she had to pay her part of the meal. She knew we were joking. But, I'm sure she felt good to be treated out for a "real" birthday meal.

I'm gonna have to teach Rachella how to set up Haloscan comments in her blog. I understand Ray's frustration with the Mexican guys just checking out women and spitting out crude remarks at them. It's the machoism in them...which isn't necessarily a good thing. Rachella, you think that's bad? My mother once told me this story. She said she was preggy with me, about 8 or 9 months. She said she was walking with her father-in-law to somewhere. Along comes a low-rider with a gang of guys. They stuck out their heads and whistled and made some comments in Spanish that would make nuns say about 100 Hail Marys. My grandpa was so po'd that he was just cussing and cussing and how they have no respect for a pregnant woman! My mother just shrugged it off because she knew how the Mexican guys were.
I guess it's a "must do" when they're around their friends...to prove themselves. This macho thing is stupid! It has led to bar fights. My mom's dad had scars all around his belly...from knife fights in bars...just to prove his manhood. This macho thing has led to many unwanted pregnancies. It also has lead to crimes and drugs.
It also has put many gay Latinos/as deeper in the closet. You're expected to marry and have kids and go to the Catholic church. You're considered lucky if you even have one relative who can understand you or even support you. I'm amazed whenver I meet Hispanic trangenders because that is just not tolerated.
So, Ray, I guess you'll just have to let those remarks roll off your back or come back with some remarks that'll make them stick their heads back in the car.

As I was typing up the previous topic, I was wondering...are we any different than they are? (in regards to commenting to people) We often get together and make comments ABOUT people. But how about do we make comments TO people? I'm sure Ridor does! :-)

I came across an email that contained a word, metrosexual. I had a quick thought and question in my mind. Will there ever be a bar or clubs for metrosexuals? *snickers* Probably not because these metrosexuals are supposed to be straight, not gay. By the way, I haven't seen "metrosexual" being applied to women. Just to men, right?
Whadda think of Ryan Seacrest, the host of American Idol? I mean, we all say "he's gay, all the way!" He keeps saying he's not but a metrosexual. I wonder if metrosexuality is a new word for bisexuality...probably not but who knows. Now: "I'm bi." (For men, that's just a transition from being 'straight' to gay.) Future: "I'm metro."
Just some bullshit thoughts brewing in my mind...

Ridor, a question for you as for others as well. If you have Deaf kids, would you send them to residential schools or have them mainstreamed?

Anyways, ta ta for now...
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Dean, welcome back to the blogging world! Love your new blogpage!
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Yesterday was just a simple day.

I was gonna talk about something but I think I'll hold that off until another day.

Last night, I came across a site while I was reading blogs. We all like to think that we're open-minded about a lot of things. However, we just might have some hidden bias. There are some tests to take and I think you'll be interested to see your results. When you get to that site, just scroll down til you see "take a test", there are a few tests to choose from. Have fun! Hidden Bias

until then, ta ta...
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I've officially decided to postpone my graduate studies until next year. KT and I are very near to getting our house! We're excited about that! There are a few things that need to be repaired or replaced at the house. (It's an old house, built in 1927.) So, the house really needs both our attention, at this point.
I had already decided to postpone my studies but thought I'd give MD VR a try. And boy, was THAT a waste of time! First of all, I had emailed them some time ago about my interest for their financial support for my graduate studies. The counselors were like...the regional director wants to meet with you and discuss this. So, I was like...ok. I went and she was like, sorry but we've stopped supporting graduate studies. I was like..wtf! If you knew that you no longer support graduate studies, then why the hell did you make me take time away from work and drive all the way to your local office? It's like...do you really enjoy telling people "sorry, no can do!" Fuck that! That was just all bullshit.
I know there are other financial aids out there for graduate studies. But after some long thoughts and discussions, I've decided it would be better off to defer til 2005. More time for the house and plus, more time for me to save up some moolah.

I'd like to elaborate what KT said in his blog yesterday. I often wondered if Deafies are behind in etiquettes and common sense in certain situations. KT mentioned an example of me and my mother's death. While I appreciate the thoughts and support of those around me, KT and I were looking back and were wondering about some things. I agree with Bobby that sometimes you might not know what to do in certain situations but some form of thoughts or gestures, such as a card (even an e-card) can be of some comfort to the griever or the recipient. There are other situations to consider...
For example, birthdays. I mentioned some time ago when KT and I went to celebrate a friend's birthday. Not to brag, but KT and I were the only ones to bring a card with a $20 in it. The others just showed up and dined and then left. I'm sure their excuse is that the fact that they showed up is enough. To me, that excuse is way overused. Plus, I think that excuse should be reserved for those from out of state...like if you were coming from NY or CA. Also, everyone kept telling her that they didn't have time and that they will get her something later. That is one of the pet peeves of mine, don't make empty promises when you have no intention of doing so.
To make the matter worse, the birthday person had to pay for her own meal. I'm like...why the hell did this person bothered to invite everyone to celebrate our friend's birthday if the birthday person is gonna pay for herself? That is soooo tacky!
I've always been taught, by my parents, to never go to a birthday celebration, or any celebrations, empty-handed. If you can't afford a .99 cent card, then don't bother going. Yeah, we all say that if it was my birthday or whatever, it wouldn't bother me. I'm one of those people that say that. But, acts of thoughts or gestures do speak volumes.
There are other situations as well...such as house-warming parties, baby showers, retirement parties, etc. Perhaps we don't know the true meaning of what these events call for. Someone said that "Deaf minds are set on freebies". All they think is free food, free drinks, free whatever or simply an excuse to party. Hmmm, it made me look back and wonder. In some ways, it's so true and in other ways, I just think that Deafies were not taught or expose what is the right thing to do.
Witch provided a good example with his comments to KT's blog. I believe that is true with a lot of Deafies. They just haven't been taught about the proper way of tipping or what services should be tipped. Lots of Deafies don't know that you're supposed to tip extra for those that handle your luggages (usually $1 each) to cab drivers, bellhops, etc. You're supposed to tip not only your haircutter but the shampooer as well. The list goes on and on. KT and I do ask each other, from time to time, "are we supposed to tip him/her?"
House-warming party is another example. We've asked a few Deafies about this and they seem to think that it's a party/tour of the "new" house. Not quite. The purpose of a house-warming party is to bring gifts that the owners can use around the house. Usually it'll be a gift of a can opener, corkscrew, pot holders, some appliances. You know, like a bridal shower.
So, why is that? Were we neglected to be told of these etiquettes? Or do we know about them and we just *bored* to do them? I know that some Deafies grew up with parents who didn't bother to take time out to explain the facts of life. It's so sad because then it makes the Deafies look bad. There are even parents who do everything for the Deaf children, thus, not allowing the Deafies learn anything. (To go off the point a little bit, KT once knew a roomie who didn't know shit how to sort or wash clothes. His mother did everything for him. So, it made the roomie look bad as he was expected to know what to do as an adult.) I thank my parents for taking time out with me to explain these details. Keep in mind that they didn't explain everything. There are a few things I've had to learn on my own or from others.
Like Bobby said, we're a family. Yes, we are...especially those who are Deaf and gay. We need to take care of each other and bitch-slap each other for not being proper. (just kidding) No, really, we do need to take care of each other and know that we simply want to build up each other and expand our knowledges of the real world. Yet, sometimes this is hard to do because the other person will take it personal. What happens? DRAMA! It's hard to swallow our pride and just accept that we do need to be corrected, for our own improvement. Accept and shut up! :-)
Please remember that I'm not saying that I'm perfect in these things. I've had to learn a thing or two and I'm sure I will learn some more later. Also, remember that I'm talking about Deafies from hearing parents...as that is the majority. I also believe that Deafies from residential schools lack that part of life training. However, I'm curious to see how Deafies from Deaf family were exposed or taught about these facts of life. I'd love to hear from them. Were these things taught or maybe even the kids grew up and had to teach their parents? Me curious...

I've posted a link here on how to tip for different services.

Blog to vee: The Truth about David

I think I'll stop here for now. Until then, ta ta...


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KT, just wanna give you an official welcome to the blogging world! mwah (woof, woof)

I've signed up for an account with Gmail. I will use this email address for any blogging contacts. I'll be keeping my other email address as my personal account. So, friends, please keep sending emails to my other addy and not at Gmail. Thanks!
I will set up a "contact me" on my blog soon.

ta ta...
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Friday night, we had Witch come over to our place to play some games with us and Jon. We had a good time. I was teamed up with Witch and he made us lose the whole time. (Bitch!) LOL...nonetheless, we had a good time.

Saturday, early afternoon, KT took me to Bowie. We had lunch at Chik-Fil-A. (mmmmmm!) Then, after that, he drove to the mall and parked in the back. His surprise for me was to go rollerskating. Gosh, I haven't rollerskated in what...20 years! I tried rollerblading some time ago but just couldn't get a handle on braking...which is located in the heel area. Well, we skated up and down the parking lot before crossing the street to skate on this long winding sidewalk. KT got a good balance and was already skating like a pro. (Mofo!) Me...my arms are all like jerky and making small circles in the air...trying not to fall. Well, I thought I was confident to cross the other side. KT went first. Then, me went next....I was fine...til I reach the curb and boom, down I went! (Embarrassing!) I was like...ok, this is not good because I was supposed to be somewhere to meet up with RAD executives and the committees. I didn't wanna go in with bruises and not able to move. So, I got up and tried my best to go slow. I was kinda freaking out because there were broken glass on the sides. I was thinking, if I fell down, this isn't gonna be good. KT must've seen the worriness in my face cuz he was like...let's just go. I was like...whew! But, we'll have to do it again.

Then, later that afternoon, I met up with the RAD people at the hotel for the tour. It was nice to see them once again. After the tour, we all went to 17th St. Bar & Grill for dinner. Most of us walked from Chinatown to the edge of DuCi (Dupont Circle). As we were walking, I was vee'ing people who were carrying signs for the abortion protest. I vee'd this one group of guys. They were all like redneck hillbillies. They all had long beards and wearing overalls and were carrying anti-abortion and religious signs. I was thinking...my goodness, you would have never thought these guys were religious.

Anyways, we got to the restaurant and we were just having a grand time. I, being one of the youngest member of the RAD 2005 committee, was interested in the other people's coming out histories. I'm always curious about people and their past. It's interesting. To me, there's like 2 different kinds of people, in regards to this older generation. There's this one group of people who didn't come out until near their golden years. They followed the traditional role expected of a man...to get married and have kids, etc. Some waited until their wives died or they were divorced. They knew they were gay themselves but wouldn't dare come out for fear of losing family, friends, jobs, etc.
The second group were like "who fucking cares" and they never did hide their sexuality. I was amazed because I thought that the gay thing was taboo back in the old days. Well, it was but it didn't stop them. They were talking about the "pre-AIDS" days and how wild things or places used to be, especially San Francisco, New Orleans and NYC.
In some ways, that still rings true in today's generation...in regards to Deaf Gays. There are those that already came out before or during Gallaudet. Sadly, a lot of them don't come out until after they've graduated from Gallaudet. Again, fear of losing friends or opportunities. Also, fear of someone knowing them and telling their families, especially among those from Deaf families.
Pressure from others is just weird. You're pressured from your family or society to assume the traditional expected role of your gender. But, if you're gay, you're pressured from gays to come out. For some time, I was out to my friends and some relatives but not to my parents. I remembered, during my days at Gallaudet, being pressured to come out to my parents and get it over with. It's easier said than done. It wasn't until I started dating KT that I become comfortable with the idea of coming out to my parents. I came out to my parents in Christmas of 2000. It wasn't easy! Of course, I told my mother first. (She was like...I knew it all along.) At first, it was emotional as the truth finally emerged and them making sure I was alright. Then, came the religious lectures. So from that point on, I made a mental note, to myself, to not pressure others to come out...until they feel they're comfortable.
Anyways, overall I had a good time with these people. Now that I have a clearer picture of my role, I can roll up my sleeves and get busy for RAD.

Sunday was just a lazy day for me. Did some light cleaning. Added the Vitruvian Man picture on my blog. So far, I like it. Perhaps, in the near future, I'll have it expanded and re-design my blog. I think I'll be fine with it...for now.

Watched QAF (Queer As Folks) last night. Good show! Forgot to mention it last week, they changed their intro...it's black and white...looks good. In one part of the show (KT knew I was gonna talk about this), Brian has started his own advertising business (last week) and is struggling to get some clients. However, he remembered that a client of his was supposed to meet with his former job for some new ads. This client produces medicines for those with HIV. Brian came up with an idea that ads out there put out an image of positive people being "on top" of things. They look healthy and are climbing rocky mountains or running marathons. Brian's goals was to present "honest" ads...such as "helps me live another day" or "some days, I feel like hell but I'm still here", etc.
It's interesting because...looking back at HIV medicine ads, it is true. They make the ads all sexy and athletic when in fact, that's not always the case. It made me realized that ads can be misleading...as if I didn't know that already. Sometimes, you just need a reminder here and there about things and reality.
I also enjoyed the other part of Michael and Emmett going to a Radical Faeries gathering. Cute and funny.

So, now, I'm back at work and getting ready to start on things. Just 4 more days until my oral surgery. Emergency! I'm already fidgeting!

Jon, welcome to the blogging world! :-)

Until then, ta ta...
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Yesterday morning, I went to the doctor for a physical exam and some updated immunizations as required before enrollment to Gallaudet. Met with the doctor and filled him up of what has been happening, health-wise, as I haven't seen him in about a year. Then, he proceeded to get a nurse to take care of some blood works to see if I need shots for some stuff. The nurse came in and proceeded to draw blood out of me. Now, I don't have a problem having blood drawn out or getting shots. Just as long as I don't look at it. I usually turn away and just close my eyes. Well, she wrapped a rubber band around my left arm. Poked in the needle and then withdrew. I thought, "oh, done already." I opened my eyes and turned out that my vein wasn't visible to draw out blood. (Well, wtf were you doing poking the needle in the first place?) So, she does it on my right arm. I looked away as she pricked the needle into me. After a few seconds, I started sweating...big time! I was like...my goodness, is it hot in here or is it just me? And then, I felt nauseous and I was like...ok, either I'm gonna throw up or pass out, I need get my head between my knees. The nurse was like...are you ok? I said that I was just feeling light-headed and that it never happens to me. I opened my eyes...well, no wonder! She drew out 3 tubes of blood! I was like...do you mind, I would like to have some blood leftover for my body! I had to lie down for a couple of minutes. So...the nurse told the dr and he decided that it would be best if I came back later for the shots. So, will have to go back later.

Anyways, yesterday was an "ok" day. Nothing fancy. Work is having staff appreciation day. So, my job had Ben & Jerry's brought over to the firm and we all had ice cream. Hmmm, so good!

Came home after work and changed and then met Cliff and Rosey for our get-together. Had a good time. Meanwhile, KT went out with his friend to Tia's. (Bitch!) (ILY!)

So, I am looking forward to this weekend to relax a bit. Saturday night, I will have to meet with the RAD executive board members. We'll be having a tour of the hotel where RAD will be hosted and then out to eat to socialize. Looking forward to see who else is on the executive board, other than the officers. Other than that, I'm just gonna relax! I have to, since next weekend, I'll be recovering from my oral surgery. Uughh!

I've been working a little bit on my blog. Probably will work a bit more over the weekend. As I said, there are a few cheat sheets I came across and here they are...
First of all, Mandarin is a good site to find info how to add or make something in your blog.

Second is the HTML tag codes.

Third is the style sheet codes.

Anyways, thank God it's Friday. Will post more later...if not, then have a good weekend!

ta ta...
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I did it! Well, I found a shortcut for .gif files/icons. Thanks to a guy I emailed about the .gifs. He said an easy way is to register with PhotoBucket, which simply provides storage space for your images. When you right-click and save an image, you can bring it to PhotoBucket and it will then provide you 3 codes...for url, tag and img. I chose the middle one, tag codes for my template. You do have to add something before you paste the tag codes. I tried posting on here but it kept messing up this post. I'll add it to the comment of this entry.

Sara, I would still wanna get together with you and absorb your knowledge of this whole computer coding stuff.

I found some "cheat sheets" which I will probably post tomorrow.

So, I'll be adding some more buttons in the Blog Features.

until then, ta ta...
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I'm gonna be SO happy when I learn how to save an icon or a .gif and put it into my template. I only know how to cut and paste the html code of an icon in the template. So, if anyone knows how to do that, much appreciated!
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Some time ago, I've created a section on the side, "Blog Features". I've been adding some sites that you can register and join and then have a button or a pedigree added to your blogs. There are some of them that I've joined but have not been able to get a button to paste in my template. All these sites are free to join. Be sure to check them out. Some of them are really interesting. For example, BlogTree. My parent blog is Ridor's, since he's the one that really inspired me to write. Anyone else who claims Ridor as their parent blog will be my siblings. Those that claim me as their parent blog will be my child blog. Thus, the tree grows.

Another interesting site is BlogShares. This is a fictional stock market game. You don't need to have a blog to join. When you join, you're given $500K fictional money. Your goal is to survive/predict the market and make your money grow.

PeaceBlogs are for those who are against wars. Currently, they're accepting blogs until the US hands over the reins to the Iraqi government.

GeoUrl will list all blogs or bloggers that are within 100 miles of you. This site will help you find your latitude and longitude.

Creative Commons offers free licenses for your blog. It's somewhat like a copyright license. I think this is a great idea for those of you that like to post poems on your blogs.

Many of them are really interesting and I'll be adding more and more as I come across some more sites to "accessorize" your blogs.

Really, other than that, nothing much to say for today. Last night, KT and I had some really interesting discussions about life, friendships, Deaf ways, etc. I think I'm still processing those discussions in my mind. Ever have those moments? You'll have discussions about something and it'll linger in your mind for days. Perhaps, later down the road, I'll mention bits and bits of these topics that were discussed. We'll see... That's another thing I love about KT, we'll have discussions and just throw in different pov's and ideas and analysis, etc. It's funny how in some areas, we almost never agree on something and in other areas, we totally agree.

I'll be hanging out with Roe and Cliff tonight. We shall dine and recite lines from our play. "Must, must, must!" "C-a-l-m d-o-w-n."

Oh no no no! A friend of mine sent me an email with this link. It's about con artists using relay services for the Deaf to scam and avoid international phone charges. This is a concern because you never know that relay services might start charging us because of those stupid mofo's!

Anyways...I'll post some more later...until then, ta ta...
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This morning, KT and I got up and went to Hassan's memorial service. When we got there, there was already a good number of Deafies there, sitting behind the family. Toby seems to be holding up well. Nonetheless, it was good to see him.
Before the service started, I was veeing the funeral home. Coming from Texas, I'm used to everything being big and spacious. This was a small chapel room, with antique stuff. Then, I vee'd the family. I was trying to figure out who is who. They seem to be a loving family. One of Hassan's brother came up to speak and told a funny story and a poem. It was really sad.

Like Ridor said, Toby and Hassan have been together for almost a decade. I can't imagine losing your lover. KT and I joking tell each other, from time to time, that "I hope to go first, cuz I couldn't deal with your death." But then, when I stop to think about it, I don't think I could deal with KT's death, if it came to that. I love KT, even when we drive each other crazy or make each other pissy. KT isn't just my lover, he also has many other roles...my best friend, my advisor, my shoulder when I cry, and many other roles. Then, one day, he's gone.

Just like what my dad is going through. 30 years with my mother and she's gone. Imagine waking up one morning and you're all alone in a queen or king-sized bed. Wow, we sure do take life for granted.

Anyways, I know that Toby will survive through this time of sorrow. I'm sure he knows he's surrounded by friends. Ah, friends...can't live without 'em.

Cliff, just wanna say so sorry to hear about your beloved cat, Wyndow. I remember her being a little cute kitty. I so remember her being in heat, like every other day, before she finally was spayed. Every time I would pet her, she'd have her ass high in the air. I was like..wtf is she doing? "Oh, she's in heat." Again?
I know what it was like to have a cat with FIP. It's incurable. And it doesn't help when you have to put your cat to sleep. Cliff, I know you'll get through this, in time. You'll be alright.

I was thinking about my last entry from yesterday in regards to a letter/question that appeared in Dear Abby. I realized I overlooked the hearing wife. Yeah, I agree she's at fault as well. (It has been studied that hearing wives tend to be more fluent in signs than hearing husbands. Of course, we do not have enough information from the letter whether the deaf man was a signer or if the wife knew signs.)

I realized that this doesn't happened at social settings. It happens everyday with our families (exception to those from Deaf families). Assuming that this man has been deaf all his life, well then he is used to it. We grow up, complaining about how neglected we've been or how we've been marginalized. By the time we've reached adulthood, we've grown accustomed to that. It no longer bothers us and just rolls off our backs.

What Abby said speaks volumes. She has no inkling what she's talking about.

Reading that article made me appreciate KT even more. I thank God that he's Deaf just as I am. None of that shit of being left out or missing information. We both can experience and understand what it's like to be Deaf and Gay.

KT, I love you! woof, woof

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I don't know if your local newspapers (in print or online) has a Dear Abby advice column. But, in the Washington Post, this person was saying that she had hosted a party and there was a deaf man. She noticed that he was all alone and that nobody really talked to him. He said that he was just simply there for his hearing wife.

You should check it out and see if you agree with Abby's answers. Let me know what you think.

This is all too familiar for Deafies. We're often left alone in parties or events when the majority of the people are hearing. We're used to it. For a short time, hearing people will come up to us with their limited jerky signs. Just saying this reminds me of an incident with Rosey at Springfield Mall. Roe, remmy? We were in line at Sbarro's to order our meals. I was first in line and Rosey behind me. Behind Rosey was this guy. He saw us signing and then he tapped Roe's shoulder. He was trying his darnest to sign, which wasn't working. He was saying something like I'm taking ASL 1 or 2 at college. Rosey just nodded and then turned away while he was in mid-sentence. I was like...omigod! He was just staring at her and he just stopped signing. Roe said..."go back and learn more signs and then come talk to me later when you can sign better." LOL But then, when you think about it, it's true. Would you really wanna be with someone who knows shit for signs and spend the next 2 hours teaching signs...someone that you just won't see again?

Anyways...back to the point...we're just all too familiar with that surrounding. It works the other way around as well. When we have a Deaf event or party, all the Deafies are chatting together and the hearies are huddled together in a corner. So, should the Deaf host make an effort to include the hearies with Deafies? Or TFB for them?


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Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

"Master of the Universe" made me go down on memory lane. Remember He-Man? Well, I was more a fan of She-Ra. Now, I'm thinking of all the old cartoons? Remember Pac-Man? Rainbow Brite? Q-Bert? The Littles? Smurfs? CareBears?!?! My Little Pony? Transformers? I forgot the name but I remember a cartoon with Mr. T and his gymnastic team, fighting crime, now how silly was that? What other cartoons do you remember?
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Got an email from Beth about BlogJet. Supposedly you can do your blog from Windows without having to go to the blogsite.

I also found this info from "untitled blog" about being notified via AIM when a blog has been updated. That way you don't have to keep checking blogs to see if they have been updated or not.

So many different options to add onto your blogs!! :-)
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Take the quiz: "Which Playing Card Are You?"

The One Eyed Jack
Sly, Evil, and Secretive, You are the One Eyed Jack!

(*evil laughter*)
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Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

Cleveland
You are blue collar and Rock n Roll. You Work hard and party harder.

Never been there and this is the city I am. (Ohio! Me...an Ohian city?!?!)

Guess I'm in the mood to take some quizzes. Will post more later...
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Happy 4/20!!!

Nothing much is happening. This week is staff appreciation week here at work. So, little games here and there and litte free gifts. This morning was a free continental breakfast. Ahh, something to save myself a few bucks.

Read the papers this morning that Coke and Pepsi will be coming out with a "mid-calorie" version of their beverages. It is targeted for those on low-carb and others. Coke will call theirs Coca-Cola C2. Pepsi's version is Pepsi LS (low sugar). Coke will debut this version in Japan first and then here in the US by this summer. Pepsi will probably begin their new product in January.

KT and I will try to go to Hassan's memorial tomorrow. Ridor, page/email me or KT asap!

Yesterday was a good chatting day. I had good hearty chats with Terese, VeeVee and a really close friend of mine in Texas, Barbie. It's nice to just follow up what's going on with our lives and stuff. Kenny and I were just being silly exchanging jokes. Ah, thank God for AIM, right?

Anyways, learned yesterday that my TV viewing will be expanded later this year. Law & Order will be making another spin-off, Law & Order:Trial By Jury. CSI as well, CSI:New York. I love L&O and CSI! I think the reason why I like them is that they've been taking real life incidents and add some twists here and there. Sometimes, KT and I would sit there and we'll be like..."oh yeah, remember that story from last year", etc.

Speaking of TV, Queer As Folks is back!!!!! The first episode of the new season was good! Showtime finally fixed their damn captions. Last season was frustrating because the captions were delayed. Don't you just hate that? Anyways, looks like it'll be an interesting season.

Some people have been asking about my poems. Yes, I know...I haven't been writing any lately. I have a few brewing in my mind but just haven't pen them down. Right now, there's another ASL poetry contest coming up. For more info, you can go to Golden Notebook, listed under Deafies' Blogs. Click on ASL Poetry. I'm gonna attempt my second ASL poem. It should be fun.

Anyways, I better starting working.

I'll post more later. Until then, ta ta...
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A commenter in Ridor's 4/17 entry mentioned that it's the poz people's moral responsibility to inform people of their status. As I said after his comments, that I agree that it's the poz people's responsibility to inform their "fuckees" of their status (yet, I believe it's the "fuckees'" responsibility as well to ask), but there is something else to look at on the "playing field". There is a group of people, who specifically look for poz people to have sex with, hoping to acquire the virus. It is for real and totally insane. They're called bug chasers.

I have provided 2 links in regards to "bug chasing". The first link will mention about an article that appeared in the Rolling Stone magazine and you can read it as well. The last paragraph of the RS article is just really eerie.

This is even more work for HIV/AIDS awareness educators as they're trying to help educate about the virus and provide prevention tips and options. Yet, there are people going around looking for the virus.

I'm curious of your view about this questionable phenomenon.

ta ta
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KT and I didn't get to go see the play, Quid Pro Quo. Something came up and decided it was just better off not to go. However, I heard that the play was interesting...at least, thought-provoking. I'll have to ask around more to get more mental visuals of the play.

Sunday, got up and then went to a RAD committee meeting. (I'm the workshop coordinator.) It was productive. Finally finished up my area and will soon be posted online. I'm also the coordinator for RAD 2005's Latino event, which will take place in September. So, I gotta get busy with my committee and get the ball rolling. CMRA hosted last year's Latino event, which I assisted Ricardo Lopez, and it was successful.

Then, afterwards, went to Bob Rourke's house in Virginia for an IDL/IDB (International Deaf Leather/Bears) dinner fundraising party. A good number of people showed up. We were all outside and just chatting the night away. Juan Z., came over from San Diego. He's the current Internat'l Deaf Leather man (I believe that's the correct title, there's so many that it's hard to know which title belongs to whom). He seems like a nice guy. A tall guy for a Mexican, which isn't usual. Overall, we had a good time.

Witch, Happy Birthday! We need to get together soon and celebrate!

I'll post some more later.

but for now, ta ta...
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I forgot to mention about this. I had read something about it in someone else's blog. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "go fuck yourself!" Well, what if that was really possible? (This, of course, applies to guys only.) If you're curious, go to the site, but be warned, this isn't job-safe! Click it at home! Let me know wha'cha think?
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Last night was interesting. KT and I went to a "pre-Rockfest" house party, hosted by some queens, near Gallaudet. It was a good mixture of people from Gallaudet and RIT students and others. I was surprised to see some other people showing up at the party. There were a few people drunk off their asses. Supposedly this one guy, apparently the first one to lose his liquor that evening, was going around and making out with some guys when his boyfriend is there! It was said that his boyfriend was observing him and was just pissed off. OMG, drama when that guy sobers up!

I vee people who get drunk and just start get touchy-feely. You know what I mean? This one guy kept coming up to me and KT and said "hi" like at least 3 separate times. I'm like...do you mind? And then he'll be like, placing his hand on my back or hip. I was like..."omigod, Clitch...get over here and pull out your 'dawg' in front of him so he can be distracted!"

I vee this one Deaf person, whom I've known for some time, has a cochlear implant. Admittedly, I was surprised. But, hey, it's his choice. (At least, it's not a kid with a CI.)

Overall, we had a good time there with friends and "long time/no see" strangers. Chris, nice of you to offer to pay for me for RockFest. Sure appreciated the offer but I just feel too old for RF. However, if ASP had a retreat...I'll be sure to go and drag the queens with me and Ridor as well.

This morning, KT and I got up and took one of our cats, BJ, to the vet. Lately, he's been going to the cat litter like every 30 seconds...trying to pee...but with no luck. The vet thinks it's a urinary tract infection. It shouldn't be anything serious. He's bound to get better. But damn, inserting pills into cats' mouths is hell! We'll just mash the pills and mix it into his food.

Tonight, we'll be going to see Quid Pro Quo at the Kennedy Center. The "-itches" will be there as well. Hopefully, it'll be worth it to go. See see...

Blog to VEE: Stuff

ta ta for now...
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If you wanna know what's a trannie, an intersexed and the politically incorrect term, hermaphrodite...click on Dan Savage that I have posted on the right side under "What I Read". Always something new to learn. Dan Savage's column is updated on Thursdays.
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I read an interesting article in the Blade about HIV. Perhaps you might like to read it as well. It's called "The Rule for HIV is 80/20."
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Even been at that point, in your life, where you're trying to work out details of your plans for the year or so? It's like you have plans A, B and C. If plan A, doesn't work out, then switch to Plan B. Yet, Plan B has its own Plan A and Plan B. The same for Plan C. Yeah? Me too. It's more frustrating when most of the deadlines all fall around the same time. It's so frustrating to the point where you don't want to make decisions and you rather someone just tell you what to do. However, life doesn't work that way. Sacrifices or adjustments have to be made throughout life.

Some days, I just wanna escape to some hidden treehouse or a secluded beach and just breathe in some fresh air. A secluded beach sounds more inviting. Reflecting while the sun's rays are beating down on you. Dig in your feet into the warm sand. Take a stroll along the endless shore. Hmmm, what a wonderful idea to call in "sick".

Sometimes I think that you get so busy with the fast-paced life that you forget to stop and relax. Life becomes so serious, you forget to laugh or how to have fun (without any help from alcohol or drugs). Whatever happened to simplicity?

Life is weird. Sometimes we need a little reminding on our shoulders, but that can go both ways. For example, you can get so distracted on something that you forget about people. They need you and your undivided attention. Yet, on the other hand, you can be busy meeting up with people or doing things with/for them, that you forget that you do need a moment to be alone or selfish (every once in a while).

Anyways, I've been deep in thoughts lately about my goals and future. As I was thinking, I went off the point and started thinking about the pace of life and time (is it our friend or enemy?). Overall, I'm ok...just thinking and thinking. I'm sure I'll be making decisions soon and be happy with them.

Moving on...I'll definitely be having a busy weekend. So busy that I'm like how am I gonna do my weekly chores. I'm the type of person that likes to do all my chores in a set of time, like in the morning and be over with it. Instead, looks like I may have to break my chores down and just do what I can in between appointments and meetings. Sigh...

McDonald's has announced they will be offering a "Happy Meal" for adults. It will include a salad, bottled water and a pedometer. For the kid's Happy Meals, they will be offering a choice of fresh fruits over fries. It's supposed to be available to all US McDonald's by May 6th. Interesting...

Well, I better stop for now and get my ass busy in work.

ta ta...
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Rachella! Welcome to the blogging world! This hyper gurl is my loving Mexican sister. Miss her so much and glad that she is now blogging. We'll keep each other in touch what's going on with our lives through blogs. Good to see you around! Miss ya like hell, bitch! I have you posted on the side already!

VeeVee, love your poem! It's good! Glad to see you're back. :-)


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I got the following information from Davynin's blog...

Apparently, you can use Relay via AIM. All you have to do is go to Lormar Logic and register. It's free. AND Also, seems that CSD-TV is up and running. However, I've tried a few times and I can't get through, at this time.

.....................................

It's too late now, but for those of you that have Sidekick pagers...hopefully, you downloaded the Terminal program into your pager. You can use use IP Relay through the Terminal.

ta ta for now...
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Those of you in the DC area... Hope you guys can check out this play, Quid Pro Quo, by a Deaf playwright. It'll be at the Kennedy Center.
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Last night, KT and I went to Uno's at Union Station. We were invited to help celebrate a belated birthday for a friend of ours. Ridor may hate this but I've learned a few more things. It's not just about tipping but about other things as well.

First of all, KT and I already told ourselves that, long time ago, that we refuse to order with a large group of people. The reason being is that restaurants usually give one big bill for parties of 6 or more. Sometimes, gratuity is included in the bill. Anyways, what usually happens is that when the bill comes, it gets passed around as people are trying to figure out what they owe. Then, they try to tell the waiter that they owe only this much and pay their part...instead of the whole party paying all at once. It's almost impossible to pay the whole bill at once because some pay with cash and others pay with credit or debit cards.

I remember last year, I believe, Witch had a surprise birthday party at a Mexican restaurant. There was about at least 30+ people for Witch's party. KT and I told each other not to order anything because it would just be chaotic with paying the bill. True business! When the bill arrived, there were some meals not paid (but eventually were paid) and not enough tip were left for the waiters.

Back to last night, there was only 9 of us and 2 kids. Fast forward to the billing part. The bill arrived and again, it was passed around to see what each of us owed. True business! The waiter came and said that someone didn't pay and he was supposed to get almost a $30 tip and all he got was $6. Surprise, surprise! We were all trying to figure out what had happened. We found another common oversight. People tend to pay for their food and tip but they almost always forget to include the tax. You know...DC's tax is 10%. If you and your date's total for the meals comes to about 40 bucks...and let's say, you only tip about 10% (when you should be tipping 15 to 20%)...you throw in an extra 5 bucks. However, tax is 10%, which is 4 bucks. So, in reality, after tax, you really paid $1 in tip. (Yes, I know you're supposed to tip what you owe before tax.)

So, maybe tipping isn't the problem...it's overlooking the tax part.

All in all, we were able to find the missing part and paid up the whole bill with the appropriate tip (with someone having to throw in extra tips.)

But that wasn't all. We were invited to help celebrate this person's birthday. Now, if the birthday person did the invitation, that's another story. However, someone else made the invitation to help celebrate our friend's belated birthday. (None of us were able to celebrate on her birth date as it was the wrong timing.) We all went out and hung out and chatted. At the end, I noticed that the birthday person paid for her own meal. I was like...whaaaa? I thought it was her birthday celebration and she's having to pay for her own meal. Fucked up! Don't go asking people to help celebrate someone's birthday if you don't have enough dough to pay for birthday person's meal and beverage. That was just really tacky! I was like...gosh, hopefully soon KT and I can take her out and just let her feel special.

There's another issue but I'm not gonna bring it up. It's just a pov that I was raised and taught about birthdays. However, after thinking it through, I realized that this other issue can be seen by many other pov's.

ta ta for now...
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Thought I'd try something different by doing this entry in "written" ASL (of course, it should be done in gloss (all caps) and dashes for fingerspelling) but I'll just do it this way:

Bills, me sick! Last night, me do do? Me review bills for now month. Me look phone bill. Me notice bill expensive than before. Before about 21 dollar, now 31 dollar. What's up? Oh no no no! Me found what? Found stupid charge. Example what? Tax and fees. Connect fee. Federal tax. State tax. Local tax. Service fee. BS! BS! BS! Then, me notice l-d, AT&T, they charge what? 2.49 for for? paper fee. Me notice everyone charge fee paper. Brownnose money! Banks, credit cards, etc. Recent, Wyndtell try use paper fee. But me notice they stop.

Tax, fees everywhere! Me sick! They tend small but gain-up really big difference. Me guess me must habit. But they do give choice. Can no-more paper. How? Get bills online. Me think cool. Me not surprise future everything online. Technology help lot. True business.

Mind-connect, me recent said future everything online. Me feel true. Why? Example, universities now have few course online. Future, all class online? Me wonder. But strange how technology seem isolate us. Deaf know before have Deaf club. Now, no-more, few. Before TTY, now few use. Now use IM, webcam. Before, Deaf institute (school), now most mainstream.

Another example, Pizza Hut now permit order online. Another, me saw show one time Oprah. Have refrigerator with small computer. Can order food. Food store bring food your house. Vee!

But me concern something. Technology also have voice recognize. Deaf how? Do do? Me KT saw washer dryer where? H-D (Home Depot). Saw ad woman speak, machine follow. Same before me saw car ad. Speak, car follow. My dad told me one time, company try computer like Star Trek. Example, "computer, find Mother" then computer respond. Deaf how? We sign to celing? Computer hologram appear, sign? That cool will! Imagine!

Anyway, me hope you fun read this. Me not use this way. But me graduate-school soon, Deaf Studies focus ASL. Me feel will use gloss. Eeek! Next time, me blog me use English. Happy?

see-you-later
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I got to thinking about my last blog entry from yesterday. I was thinking about how much America has changed within the past few years.

Do you remember the time before "super-sizing" was available? Just about any fast food you go, you can "super-size" or "value-sized" or "biggie-sized" your combo. I mean, really, is that necessary? Must you have extra fries? Yes, I know, they're so good that you almost don't wanna share them with others. Must we have a triple cheeseburger or the Big Mac?

If food really our weakness? Does food really comfort us? The past 2 years I've been really trying to pay attention to what I put in my mouth. It's amazing how much you don't realize how much you're eating or what you're eating. You ever have those moments where you're like..."omg, why didn't I know shit like this when I was younger?" For example, I didn't really know what was protein, starch, carbs, fiber, etc. I'm like...gosh, I feel so stupid for not knowing about things like this.

I think that America is going through a change again, which will impact our eating habits...I hope. For example, since we've been alarmed about the rising percentage of obesity in our land...practically everyone is on the ball to eat healthier. For example, McDonald's has announced they will stop offering to super-size meals by the end of this year. They will only offer it from time to time...you know...like when they have their McRib sandwich specials or Monopoly games. The Atkins and South Beach diets are hot right now. This is like the perfect time to get on the diet, since stores everywhere are now offering low-carb products. Low-carb ice cream, pasta, protein shakes and bars, wraps, bread and so much more.

America is also about looks...more like vanity. Even fat people will criticize other fat people. "Thank God I'm not THAT fat like he/she is." Ridor mentioned in my comment yesterday how he refuse to go to the beach. I can totally understand his feeling about that. I feel like the beach is for skinny people only. I mean...I'll go but then I look at other people and then I get self-conscious. (Well, that's why I've been working on my weight. I know I'm bound to lose some weight before I hit the big 3-0 this summer!) There are some people who go to the beach and they just don't have common sense. Like, for example, I'm sure you've seen a big guy wearing a Speedo "underwear" (what do you call those?). It's like...OMG, you can see his crack 5 miles away! Hello, those aren't for you...ya know. But then again, there are people who just don't give a shit and just do the heck what they wanna do.

See? I'm already criticizing. Are we that judgmental? Or are we just surprised to see people wearing something not meant for them or doing something totally unappropriate?

I'm also not just talking about obesity but appearances as well. As you may recall last week in my blog, I was talking about the show, The Swan. I used the word, fugly. Too strong a word? Would "homely" suffice? But then again, it's not like we told them to get plastic surgeries. They chose to do so. I wonder why...pressures from society? Comparisons? Influences from magazines and televisions? Maybe heard comments from loved ones/friends about them? Feeling inadequate?

I guess that's true when beauty is in the eye of the beholder. To me...fugly. To others, either homely or even beautiful. It's funny because sometimes KT and I will see guys and I'll be like..."I think he's cute" and KT will be like "not my type" and vice versa.

I refuse to call myself a bear. Many people (actually, I should say men) have said "you're a bear" or "you should compete, you're a sexy bear". That is forbit! No way in hell am I gonna associate with bears. The majority of bears that I've seen are just...eww! The sexy bears are the ones that are lean and muscular. So, me a bear? FORBIT! Of course, in my mind, bears are perceived to be big, which isn't always the case...but that's me.

So, perceptions play a part in our minds and views of what we see as acceptable or not. They determine for us what is beautiful or not. Sometimes, not even that...it's just the way life or society operates. But, does it pressure us? Shouldn't we all be living a healty life? After all, gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins. As for vanity, strange how it isn't one of the sins, unless you consider it lust, which is define as a desire for the pleasures of the body.

ta ta
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Recently, during our lunch hour, KT and I were walking on treadmills in the gym. I was watching some news channel. There is talk of a proposal, in England, to hike health insurance rates for those who are overweight and obese. Right now, it's an epidemic occuring in the Americas and Europe. It is a concern for those in the health fields. I believe the recent stats for US is that 64% of Americans are overweight/obese. While in England, 1 in 5 is overweight/obese. The reason for the hike is that they say overweight and obese people are candidates for health risks than those within their normal weight ranges.

Well, I can understand that but it can also be misleading. Obesity...health risks...sure, that's understandable. I guess what I'm saying is that everyone have health risks. Diabetes isn't just for fat people. Heart problems...just about anyone can get them.

I told KT that it's not really fair, in a way...although, I do understand their intentions. I mean, generally, we know that females tend to have more health problems than males. Females make up the majority of patients visiting the doctors/hospitals. I asked KT, how would females like it if the health insurance companies told them, "since you're a female and generally tend to have more health risks than males, we'll have to charge you more for insurance." I'm sure you wouldn't like it one bit.

Although, I can understand why they would want to charge more for obese people. It should be an incentive (if you will) for overweight people to lose weight...to avoid paying that higher rate for insurance. Will that work? Who knows...

As you may know, there are airlines (well, one that I know of) that will charge an overweight person for 2 seats. I mean, you can't really blame them. Usually, in the coach section, there are 3 seats, in a row, on each side. So, if you were sitting next to an overweight person, and you're assigned the middle seat. Believe me, you would not be comfortable as you don't have the whole seat to yourself. So...fair to charge that big person 2 seats?

I'll have to review the ADA federal law. I'm not sure if obesity has been put into the ADA or there was an effort to include obesity in the ADA law. Yeah, I read something, a long time ago, that obese people consider their obesity a disability. Their reason is that they're often passed over for jobs, promotions, seatings, clothing selections, etc.

Medically, I'm considered obese. (Those of you who say I'm not....awww, y'all are so nice! Flattery does get you somewhere. heh) I believe that if you're 20 lbs over your ideal weight, you're considered medically obese. Overweight if you're between your ideal weight and obesity point.

So, KT and I have been working on our weight. So far, it's been good...with some struggles. But it's nice to have someone to buddy up with you during this challenging journey. But...we're getting there!

I think it's so funny (in a way) that it's so easy to gain weight but so hard to lose it. WTF! Ya know...

For those of you struggling with weight and really want to lose weight...I wish you the best of luck! It can be done. You just need a good support buddy or group and a positive attitude. Try all options! Be reasonable! Don't punish yourself too hard! Mistakes are bound to happen! Keep going!

ta ta
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Yesterday was alright, due to the cloudy/rainy weather. Nonetheless, Manny, KT and I went to MCC for Easter service. Lots of songs and short sermon. We were all veeing these 4 "dancers" that came out to the front, during a song. It's really hard to describe it here. It's something I've never seen in any churches I've been to. Yeah, there are dancers but not like these 4. They were all wearing really baggy clothes and gosh, it was just different. One of the terps was weird since she was like signing everything with a C-handshape.

Overall, it was ok. Nice to see other Deafies there. The service was over than expected. We headed out to drive around and then thought to pick up Cliff to go to Mr. Henry's. Kekua had already paged me saying he wasn't gonna go, due to something. Then, only to find out that Cliff backed out. So, we proceeded to pick up Bobby and Terese. The 5 of us had a good time at Mr. Henry's. Dunno if Bobby will wanna hang out with KT and me cuz we were just picking on him. ;-) However, Bobby was being a good sport about the whole thing. That's awesome cuz you know some people would just take it so personal.

After that, we dropped everyone off and came home. The rainy weather just really make you wanna do NOTHING. We just laid in bed and watch some shows and then napped. Oh, I love napping on a rainy day!! Even better with a warm body next to you...especially my lover! ;-)

So overall, it was a simple day. Sometimes, that's what you just need...a simple day to relax or just be plain lazy.

Roe, welcome to the blogging world! Ofc, I have you posted on the side. :-)

Eeeeeek! They're coming soon! They will invade the DC area! Run! Hide! And keep your mouths closed!

I guess I'll close for now.

ta ta
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Nothing special yesterday...just work, which I didn't really do. I had changed the color in my blogpage. I think I'll stick with blue and black for the time being.

KT and I had dinner with Rosey and Wil at Annie's in Dupont Circle. It was good to go out on a double date with another couple. Of course, the one topic that always come up with Deafies, we talked about sex. What is the deal with that? :-) Anyways, it was a good dinner. Then went to some cute little store that was closing down. KT and I were like...no wonder they're closing down...their merchandises are priced high! We walked a bit around DuCi and ended up talking some more outside of BAM (Books-A-Million) and talked about different things.

After that, we left and decided to pay a visit to the "-itches". A few people stopped by for a few moments while we were there. There was one moment we were all hot, so Mitch, KT and I went outside for a breather. Tim and his bf, Thom joined outside. We were just talking about a bunch of stuff. Anyways, I was chatting with Thom when this white car drove by. Stepped out Clitch and Shannon. They had left a moment ago to get ciggies at the nearby gas station. In the backseat of the car, some girl was waving at us over and over. I was like..."whaaa? who the fuck is that?" I kept squinting my eyes to make out wtf is she. After that damn car left, turned out that it was that Deaf actress, whose primetime show was recently cancelled. (That should be enough clue for you to figure out.) One person said something like wtf is she doing here...why isn't she at some Hollywood party? Before the car left, she was announcing about some house party. I was like...oooook, fucked a fancy party for a house party? Whateva!

Anyways...nothing much for today, except errands. I gotta go and pick out a shirt I wanna wear for tomorrow and iron it.

Like I said, nothing fancy today.

Blog to vee: Fuck Everything

ta ta
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Happy Good Friday! According to popular belief, you're not supposed to swear on this special day. So, I'll try my best not to swear in this blog.

Actually, I think I already failed. I think I said the caca word in a comment to Ridor's. Oh well...from this point on, no swearing for the day. (Lord, help me!)

Anyways...3 articles, I read this morning, which is just non-stop about bombing and terrorism. I mean...really...c'mon! Don't these terrorists have a life, other than killing people or blowing themselves up?

First of all, you might think it's just paranoia when the CIA warned Paris of a possible bomb threat on their Metro system. Nothing happened but you just never know. Services resumed shortly afterwards.

But...in Madrid, Spain there were suspicions that of a possible attack on a shopping center/mall. So, the police raided the suspects' apartment and found a map of that shopping center. They also found 2 backpacks and belt, loaded with bombs and detonators.

Then, in Baghdad, a video was released from the terrorists. The terrorists have kidnapped 3 Japanese civilians. The threat was that these 3 will be burned alive if Japan doesn't withdraw their troops from Iraq in 3 days. Japan has responded that they will not withdraw their troops.

Well...that's hard to agree or disagree. It's good that Japan isn't intimidated by the threat and said they will keep their troops in Iraq. If it was the Americans, don't know if the reaction would be the same. Remember that the American military believes in "we don't leave our men behind." I guess I'm wondering if Japan would attempt to rescue their kidnapped civilians. You know that the American military would try to attempt to rescue their own people, even if they have to die in the process.

I was just thinking right now about old movies I used to see that were set in the future. Remmy Mad Max? Remmy those kind of movies? Where they have a nuclear war and it wiped out just about half the world...and so everything is barren...everyone becomes territorial...everyone looks like they're set back by 100 years, technology-wise... Will we be like that? Seems everyone is resorting to wars.

The other day, I was reading about Rwanda. Whoa! In 1994, a genocide had happened. Now where was I? Was I really ignorant of what was going on in the world? 10 years later, Rwanda is still cleaning up after that war. It's interesting because the world ignored Rwanda, even the US. I know that some of you are tired of the US being the "world's police", but can we afford to have another genocide?

Whaaa? A 9 y/o girl has been cuffed/arrested for stealing a rabbit and $10.

Moving on...KT and I will be having dinner with Wilsey, tonight. It'll be a nice double date.

Finally resolved the issues with the hospital and the insurance. I will have my wisdom teeth removed on April 30th. No, I'm not freaking out........yet. All I know is that they BETTER give me a LARGE bottle of Percocet after the surgery. If I have to pay $200 for it...so be it!

Other than that...it looks like it'll be a good Friday. This weekend, I guess I'll be filling out forms for graduate school and financial aids. That's not fun to do, but gotta be done.

Looking forward to a simple Easter service and brunch with friends. Hopefully, it'll be a relaxing Sunday.

ta ta
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Hmmmm...wtf do I say for today?

Last night, KT and I were watching "The Swan". It's a show that takes 2 "fugly" women at a time. (Fugly is a combination of fucking + ugly.) The show puts them through cosmetic surgeries and diet/exercise. They go through this program for 3 months. For the duration of the program, they're not allowed to have mirrors. (I was thinking to myself...could I actually live 3 months without a mirror? Could you? Are we that vain?) Anyways, after the show, the producers (I'm assuming) picks 1 of them to go on to a beauty pageant...competing against the other women who have gone through the Swan program.

During the whole program, they're really by themselves. They're not allowed to have someone else to stand by them for support...at least, not in the physical sense. They can call. This one woman kept calling and calling her husband, who never answered the phone. It was about 3 weeks before she finally got ahold of him. The conversation was really dry...almost tensed. KT said that it could be a possibility that the hubby didn't support the idea of his wife having cosmetic surgeries.

The other lady was just an emotional wreck. She would cry before she was put under for surgeries and then she would have postsurgery depression.

Anyways, it was an interesting show. We got to asking each other...if you had the opportunity...let's say all expenses paid...would you have cosmetic surgeries? That's something to think about. Me? Dunno. Maybe. Dunno. If I wanted to...I would need a hair transplant, major liposuction, nose job, dental works...not sure about my eyes and cheeks areas. Not sure if I'm willing to suffer the pain and soreness that comes after the surgery.

I believe this coming Monday is one more show of 2 fugly women before the pageant starts. Check it out if you can!

ta ta
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Wal-Mart spurned in Southern California. It's good to know that a community can have a say-so by voting.
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Remmy Star Trek: The Next Generation? Remmy Wesley Crusher, the son of Dr. Beverly Crusher? Ok, the actor's name is Wil Wheaton. Found his blog or something like it.
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I was reading Kenny's recent blog last night. I, too, miss church. I just don't miss the judgmental people that comes with church. It's like..."don't point at me, point as yourself as well!" Besides, isn't the purpose of church is to put your focus on God and not on people, what they did last night, or what they're wearing? I look forward to Easter Sunday and then brunch at Mr. Henry's with friends.

I simply believe that we're all on different paths and ultimately will reach that one final destination.

Looking back in history, it's amazing how many wars have started, due to religious conflicts. Even wars to THIS day! Don't get my dad started about Israel or you're gonna have a lecture about it.

Anyways, I realized I'm just babbling and not making complete thoughts. I must be ADD'ing! (Larry, finish!)

The other night, Kitch and I were watching Sex and the City. (I believe we were watching the 3rd season. I have all seasons except the last one, which just recently ended. I'm gonna MISS Sex and the City!) This one episode, "Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl...", deals with sexual orientations. Carrie dates a guy, who takes her, on a first date, to the ice skating rink. They sit down for a break. The guy immediately asked her about when was her last serious relationship. She looked depressed for a moment as she had ended a relationship with Big.

She quickly gets over it and asked him the same question. He is like...oh, I was with this girl, and then this girl and then was with Mark. Carrie took a double look at him. She was just surprised how cool he was about his past. Later, she wrote in her pooter if the younger generation are free with their sexuality and not limited to one side.

Are the younger generation really free of "sexual orientation"? Do they really swing both ways, without any favoritism? You know, in the eyes of today's generation...well, at least, among the gays...if a guy is bi, he's more likely to become gay in the near future. Whereas, if a woman is bi, she can go either way...actually stay bi, or become a lesbian or become straight. Does this still ring true in the younger generation?

Anyways, I was surprised to see Alanis Morrissette, who is a really good singer, to play a bi character who got to kiss Carrie. You know, from that famous game, Spin the Bottle. Carrie gets up and dumps the guy. Show over.

Ahhh...those 4 women will be truly missed! And Stanley too!

ta ta
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VeeVee, welcome to the blogging world! I've added you to my "friends' blogs".
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To All Deaf Bloggers:

Go to this site: Mandarin Look up 4/4/04 about Deaf bloggers signing in. It's a list of questions to fill out about blogging. There's a good number of responses. There's also a link to add to your blogpage if you want to start a Deaf blogger quilt. The image looks really good.
This site is really nice as it offers codes for colors in your html and links, etc. Check it out!



You can click on each icon on the quilt above and it'll take you to their blogs.
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Whoo...blogdrama with 2 bloggers yesterday...not with me. However, it got me to thinking about something else. Over this past weekend, I got to learn a bit more about this friend of mine. I'm not really close to him as I am with others. However, little by little, I'm getting to know him. Anyways, to the point, he's been kinda disowned by his folks, definitely by his mother.

This leads to our (Kitch and me) belief that our family is compiled of friends. Just about more than half of gay people have been disowned by their own flesh and blood. It could be due to religious conflicts, lack of awareness, homophobia, stupidity or a combination of all. I mean...really...how can someone actually disown their own child? (I'm sure in some cases, heterosexual children have disowned their gay parents.)

While I understand that there are some gays who have not been disowned but have to constantly deal with being "scolded" by parents/siblings/relatives/friends for doing something sinful. That alone can be pressuring and definitely can make you feel like a little boy/girl. Who needs that? If your folks are ashamed of who you are...that's their problem and they don't need to throw it on you. You have enough shit on your plate.

So, yeah...our family are our friends. It's nice to have a stress-free holiday or vacation. I'll never forget this one holiday. It's one of my favorite memories of Gallaudet. It was Thanksgiving (1999, I believe). Ridor opened up his home, with Dylan W., and invited his friends over for dinner. Not everyone there was gay but just about almost. It was nice to be somewhere with friends, and not alone in your dorm room. Yeah, there are some people, at gatherings, you just don't care for, but in those moments, bitchiness is put on pause.

That's one of the reason I love the yearly vacation to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Deaf gays meet there every August. It's sorta like a family reunion/vacation. We all go there, for a weekend,and just to hang out at the beach, sun-bathe, dine, party and catch up on news. We know that summer is almost over and it's just the right time to go and meet up with our "family". It's not just local friends from DC...this family also include friends from MD, VA, NY, PA, NJ and other nearby states. So, I'm looking forward to that weekend with my "family".

Moving on...I was reading this article and it's sorta like a catch-22. Ok, I understand the heightened alert of bomb threats and unattended packages in transit systems. The transit systems are looking for ways to beef up security. The Metro system have been "talking" about conducting random searches to riders. They're not sure if it'll be conducted on rails or buses or both. They're not even sure if they will even do the random searches, due to concerns.

Yeah, that's all good but not good for riders who have appointments or are late for work. Imagine one morning, you wake up, only to find out you have overslept a bit. You have estimated if this + this + this = you just might make it to work on the dot. So, you're rushing like you have an ant up your ass and just about to get on the metro and you get tapped on the shoulder. You turn and it's the Metro Transit Police, motioning you to step aside for a search. Fuckity fuck! You're like...you've been riding the same metro line for years and you're not stupid enough to carry illegal things...and yet they want to do a search. They go through your bag/purse...prolly use a portable electronic scanner around your body. After the search, you just know you are SO late for work or for your appointment.

So, good idea or not?

Anyways, really must be getting to work...

ta ta
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This is gonna be a sensitive subject to talk about: HIV/AIDS. There's been recent "discussions" between 2 bloggers. One I personally know and the other, I don't. However, I can understand the pov's (points of views) of each sides, not that I'm taking sides.

I can certainly understand Ridor's pov. Being able to understand does not mean advocating something. I'm not here to interpret his views or whatever, nor am I defending him. For as long as I've known him, he's a unique individual who is certainly not afraid to air his opinions. May they be provocative or complimentary, they will be known.

My beliefs are a bit different than Ridor's. I can certainly understand what he meant, according to my interpretations, about open relationships. I, myself, do not advocate o/r's. To me, it's like having your cake and eating it as well. "I want a bf but I also want the freedom to sleep around." However, I do have friends that are in o/r's and I'm not going to scold them, because that is their business.

It is interesting how people and some friends of ours have approached my bf and I for a sexual encounter. They're surprised to learn that we have a closed relationship. This part is frustrating for us because it's like...do gays expect all relationships to be open?

Anyways, I can also understand Ryan's pov. So, he discloses his status to men before the encounter begins. I'm all for that. It's obvious that him and his bf have made some kind of agreement in regards to their relationship. Again, their business.

This is where I stand out, among my friends and others. I find this part interesting. I have asked friends and others if they would ever do a guy who is HIV+. To my surprise, the majority, of those I've asked, have said they would do it...along with protection and caution. I, on the other hand, would not, regardless. The only exception is if my bf became +.

I appreciate the fact that Ryan discloses his status, according to him. I know that if I were to be single again, I would hope that if I met an HIV+ guy, he would be honest to disclose his status. (Before I met Kitch, I was really ignorant for not asking guys about their status. I remembered that sometimes I would be paranoid after an encounter and I would just flee to the local clinic that offered free HIV testing, every now and then. To this day, I thank God for sparing me. [No offense.]) If he was +, then I would say "sorry but not interested...no offense." I wouldn't bash the guy or anything...but just walk away.

Now, these guys that chose to have an encounter with Ryan or with any poz men, that's their choice. I mean, if they get positive, they really don't have anyone to blame but themselves. Now, I know this is gonna spark some debates.

I can certainly understand the frustration that Ridor pointed out. He was a spectator of an event that included many men and yet only 4 condoms were found. You never know how many of those men are poz or have some kind of STD's. You just never know. (I'm sure you've read articles of poz people who have knowingly infected others and have been convicted in a few states.) My view is that TFB (too fucking bad) to the participants if they aquire something, later down the road.

Now, I have friends who have HIV. I certainly don't wish death upon them. I can only imagine what they're going through, since I cannot understand what it feels like to be with HIV/AIDS.

I'm not sure if Ridor was making a general statement to those with HIV/AIDS, with exception to his friends or not. Again, what Ridor said is what he stands by. I may not approve everything that he said. But because he's my friend and a bro., I accept him for who he is, regardless. I know for sure that Ridor hasn't expressed all his opinions about this, unless I'm wrong. I know that one day I will sit down with him and ask him and learn more about him. Isn't it fun to learn more about your friends?

Ryan, I wish you the best of life and hope you seek contentment in this journey.

A commenter, Jim, mentioned having a discussion. Like I said...this is a very sensitive topic and it's bound to ignite some frictions. Even just posting this entry is bound to reap some comments.

This HIV/AIDS topic can go on and on with many overlapping issues, so I'm gonna stop here while I can. I know I'm bound to offend some of you. If you can certainly take time to read this, then I'll try to take time to read your opinions. Regardless of your status or type of relationship or pov, I certainly wish everyone happiness in their lives.

ta ta for now
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create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Dang! I didn't realized I haven't even touch most of the Northwestern or Midwestern states. Kitch, let's get busy and do a road trip!
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Whoo...yesterday was a tiresome day for me. I had been up til 6am with Mitch, Clitch, Witch, Kenny and others. We were all just having fun and laughing out asses off, after all day and night with the CobraFest thing. Hosting a party is a lot of work! Well, if you're expecting a large turnout...yep. But if you were having a party...like at your place...not too bad but still enough to keep you busy.

Anyways, Kitch came and picked me and went grocery shopping. Came home and showered and just relaxed all day. Was sooooo tired! I can't remember the last time I stayed up THAT late. I tried not to nap but eventually did.

Then, went to bed at a decent time. I had to, since we've lost an hour with the time change. I didn't want to get up this morning really tired. So far, not bad. Hopefully, I can last all day without feeling "blah".

This morning I was reading the news and wtf?!?! I read about this U. of Wisc. student who was "kidnapped". The police announced, 2 days after they found her, that she faked the whole thing. What? Now, who is stupid enough to do that?!? It's gonna cost the city at least $70K, if not more, for the investigation. Shit! Funny none!

And then, the mother who stoned 2 of her boys to death has been declared insane by the court. Kitch and I were walking on treadmills at a gym, last week. We were watching about this case. During this case, they were showing an excerpt of a videotape of the psychiatrist interviewing the mother. She was like detached from emotions. The whole case is just really weird. She was asked why didn't she share her "revelation from God" to her pastor. Turned out that her pastor is her brother-in-law. There were answers she gave that indicated that it was possible she knew right from wrong. It was just really disturbing.

Ah, RockFest. I won't be going to that event. But, I hear that Vanilla Ice will be performing there. Now, that has to be interesting.

I saw an ad somewhere that June 5th is Deaf Day at King's Dominion. Hmmm...I'd like to go, but dang, it's so far away when driving home after the park close. I think Terese will forbit to ride with me. LOL SixFlags in MD is closer. Wonder if they have a Deaf Day at Hershey Park? If so, gotta go!!! Kitch took me there last year as a surprise bday gift, along with Clitch and Witch. We all had a blast there! This year, we gotta go back and take advantage of a chocolate bath! Hmmm...Kitch...shall we do the "nasty" in chocolate? LOL There's so much to see at this place. We've only saw about 50% of it. The rides there are impressive, some even better than SixFlags and King's Dominion.

Anyways, better get started on work...

ta ta
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CobraFest was great! It was good to hang out with some brothers and catch up on news. It was good to see some old friends and classmates. But gosh, freshmen were OUT OF CONTROL! I was like...I'm too old for this. Is it just me or is everyone like skinny again? Is it cuz of the Atkins/South Beach diets? Saw Touria and she is way skinny than I've ever seen her. The same for Stacy Nowak...very skinny!

Christie Roeschert (sp?) is our Sweetheart! She was really surprised! I know that ASP made a good selection for Sweetheart. She really does hang out with the bros and has been at just about every event, hosted by ASP.

Anyways, Ridor, heard that you have a "new" sign. "sk sk"? Sounds cool. I have to see how you use it. :-)

Anyways...moving on...I was reading Ridor's comments about the X-Men, Infectia and the Legacy Virus. I vaguely remember Infectia. I definitely remember the Legacy Virus and the death of Colossus' sister, Magik. I remember thinking..."what? no no no...that can't be!" when Magik died. I was like...why did they have to kill her off the comics?

I read a comment, by a Kevin, to Ridor's entry in re: X-Men. Gosh, he was naming all these X-titles. And like Ridor said..."I love you but fuck it." Yeah, that's my attitude as well. I've looked at some of these comics. I dunno if it's just me or have they really come up with some corny characters. Let's see if I can get the characters right with their mutant powers... Husk, a gal who can grow out "sheaths" of bones. Another female character can control pheremones. I mean, seriously, you gonna fight with your mutant smelling powers? Chaos (?), a guy with no mouth...just a hole in his mouth/neck area.

Ridor mentioned the Dark Phoenix. I love that saga, in the comics! That is like one of the most memorable moments of the X-Men history. And yes, I agree, the Dark Phoenix will appear in X:3. Has to be! I'm so looking forward to it. I hope, but I doubt, they will introduce this Emma Frost character. In the comics, she was the White Queen of the Hellfire Club. Emma Frost has since evolved. Now, fighting on the "good" side. Just as Iceman encases himself in ice, Frost can encase herself in diamond. Vee.

Anyways, I mentioned the Dark Phoenix because one of my fave characters is Rachel Summers, aka Phoenix. She was from another timeline and was the daughter of Jean Grey and Scott Summers. (FYI, timelines and alternate realities can be quite confusing.) Anyways, I just simply liked her and her costume. (In another timeline, she is Mother Askani (sp?) that raised/protected Nathan Summers, aka Cable (which in another timeline...Strife), also a child of Jean Gray and Scott Summers.)

Whoo...how did I get off the point? Anyways, you ever wonder if you have mutant powers...what would yours be? I wouldn't mind being a telekinetic telepath. How about you?

I just saw the previews, earlier this afternoon, for The Punisher. I've never been interested in this character, so I don't think I'll be seeing that movie anytime soon.

As for the Hellboy movie, hmmm...should I or should I not go see it? This is the same comic company (gosh, forgot the name...not Marvel or DC) that makes Spawn. Spawn just didn't appeal to me.

Anyways...I'll post some more tomorrow.

ta ta
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Fucked up! Somehow, I thought that this Sonny was our brother that RT was talking about. It's actually another Sonny. Gosh, me doofus! Yes, Cliff, you can slap me for this.
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Cliff...I realized I MIGHT have jumped to a conclusion. *gasp* Yeah, I know, eh? I realized it's a possibility that you might have taken 2.6 million from a bigger number.

However, I guess I'm still confused by your saying that you were perplexed to see that there are only about 2,000 students at Gallaudet. I guess the way I'm reading you is that you might have forgotten that there are other factors. Such as...there is RIT and CSUN, that Deafies can choose to go. Also, many VR's are now not paying for Gallaudet because "there are many qualified interpreters at local or statewide colleges and universities". Duh! It's not the same at being at the mecca, Gallaudet.

Anyways, without getting into it again because it takes a whole semester to discuss this. Believe me, I took a class about this and EVERYONE has different opinions about the statistics of the D/deaf communities. Better stop...

huggies...
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First of all...let me start off with a good news: I've been accepted into the Deaf Studies graduate program! Yay! I'm excited! Now, I have to bust my ass with MD VR and apply for financial aid and quite possible...a loan. I applied to go part-time but if I have to go full-time to get the full support from VR or whatever, then I just may have to do that. 2 years instead of 4. We shall see...

Cliff...oh no no no! How many times do I have to tell ya? Don't make me come over and slap ya! You gave a stats of "Deafies" in your blog. The big "D" in "deaf" implies one is culturally involved in the "Deaf" community. Not everyone, 2.6 million, is "Deaf". Some of them are elderly and are deaf due to old age. Some are deaf due to accidents or sheer stupidity, (such as listening to ridiculously loud music). Bottom line is that there are many causes of deafness. I know you told me, some time ago, that you simply wanted to know how many people are deaf (in the US, I believe...if not in the world). Yet, it's a bit confusing when you say less than 2,000 are enrolled at Gallaudet. Those 2,000 students are Deaf, not just deaf. So, there is a difference. So, when you are talking about deaf students at Gallaudet, then you are referring to those that are Deaf (at least, the majority of the students...since some are deaf, hard of hearing and cochlear implanted). Not every deaf person would be interested about Gallaudet because some of them don't associate their deafness as an identity or take pride in. Some will admit it's a disability. I beleive that's the difference between "deaf" and "Deaf". Deaf people do not see their deafness as a disability as those who are deaf. (Of course, that's not the only difference.)

Anyways, my whole point is that it's hard to pinpoint a survery that will provide a "holistic" statistical number of how many are "deaf" and "Deaf". It's because of a variety of reasons. Not too long ago, Deaf people believe those who went to state residential schools were considered "true Deafies". However, more and more students at Gallaudet, today, are from mainstreamed schools. Also, more and more cochlear implanted students are enrolling at Gallaudet. Are they considered "Deaf"? Think before you answer. Imagine the reaction of Deafies when hearing aids first came out, in the early 1900's. Imagine their reaction when they saw other deafies wearing them. Did they considered them "Deafies"? (Of course, there are many other factors to consider before one is considered "Deaf".)

Anyways...before I go on and on and on...please keep in mind that I'm not belittling you...at all. Just wanted you to know that what you said can be confusing. 2.6 million people are deaf. Cool! About 2,000 Deaf students are enrolled at Gallaudet. Cool! Out of those 2.6 million...only a percentage of them are "Deaf". :-)

However, I will share with you an observation. Seems many of those who are Deaf are not quite aware of the D/deaf thing. Awareness is always needed to be spread around in the D/deaf communities. You know... It's like your job, HIV prevention. I'm sure you'll be shocked to find some people who are still clueless about HIV/AIDS or don't give a shit about it. Right?

Anyways................

Yes, tonight is CobraFest! Can't wait! I'll be leaving this afternoon to go help out the undgergrad bros. set up this event. It'll be cool to hang out.

RT was talking about Sonny in his blog, last night. Gosh, haven't seen that guy in ages! He was in my Spanish class and was a really nice guy. He left Gally before I became a pledge for ASP.

That reminds me...only a few of my pledge bros. are still around. Let's see...me, Cliff, MM (not sure if he's still at Gally...heard he resigned from ASP...after befriending Adan Burke *shudders*) and Bjarnason. Dang! If Bjarnason doesn't show up...just me and Cliff. Well, whadda know? The queens still reign! *high 5 to Cliff* oh wait...that's wrong...it should be...*kissy, kissy on each other's cheeks*

Anyways...better get going and beautify myself for the day.

ta ta
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Blog to vee:Too Easily Satisfied
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Well, I've been able to move up the comments/tb sections to right below the byline. Now, I just need to reduce the fonts. Waiting to hear from HaloScan about that. If that can be done, then I'll keep the c/t thingy. Unless I'm getting no comments, then what's the point?

Carrie, just wanted to say sorry about the passing away of your grandmother. Hopefully, you'll be able to go to the funeral and be with family and friends. If not, I'm sure your local friends will be with you and give you support.

I totally understand how you felt left, as a Deafie, with information from family members. I went through that while my mother was dying. Dad took off without communicating with me. My Aunt Mary would say she would come at this time but came like 2 or 3 hours later. Any news I got from them were like 2 or 3 days later. Most of the time, if my mother knew anything, she still told me. Bless her!

Basically, I kept to myself. I didn't wanna cause a scene...with my mother dying upstairs. My dad and I are SO quick to start a spat. We're like 2 cocks in a cockfight. All one of us has to do is take one quick imtimidating step and the fight has begun. So, I just kept quiet. What was worse is that the television was set in an area where the reception isn't quite so good...so the captions were fucked up. You watch the captions for like a minute and you give up. No way you're gonna spend 30 mins. or an hour deciphering the fucked up captions. And you can only read so many books before you get tired. I have a book, The Virgin Blue, by Tracy Chavelier. I've had it more than a month and still hasn't been read through.

I'm an avid reader. If I had all day and nothing to do...I could read the whole book within hours, depending the size of the book. Well, having read so many books lately, I'm like not in the mood to read anymore.

Anyways, my whole point was that I can understand where you're coming from about being left out. It's frustrating.

Well, thank God it's Friday. So looking forward to rest up this weekend. Tomorrow is CobraFest! Hope to see y'all there and have a good time. Kitch is excited cuz he gets to party and watch the Final Four at the same time. ASP started this tradition last year, of posting huge projectors which display the games. So, it's kinda like being at a crowded sports bar with a loud band playing. I applaud them for continuing this tradition. However, I think they should have kept the tradition of announcing the new officers, for next year, at CobraFest. Seems they've stopped that tradition like 2 years ago.

Anyways, I shouldn't have a problem locating Kitch if we get separated. Just have to look for him by the projectors.

Google will begin (if not started already) a free email service, called Gmail. However, there's a twist to this whole thing. Google has set up a system to where it will analyze each email that you've sent or received. Then, it will post the topics in their ad banners. I'm assuming kinda like the one that appears on top of this blogpage. Some people aren't comfortable with Google going into their emails to find basic topics. Others could care less.

A big "mofo!" to y'all who fooled me yesterday. I kept telling myself that it's April Fool's Day and yet I fell for some jokes. I'm gonna slap y'all...for real! Especially Mitch!

Last night, I was reading this guy's blog that I had posted yesterday. I was surprised to see that he added my blog link to his blogpage. He put me under "Fuckable". Hmmm...should I be flattered? Anyways, his blog is veeful!

Today is payday! Yay!

Anyways, better get busy and will soon meet with an attorney for an assignment.

ta ta

Wonder Woman! *spins*
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