Monday, April 05, 2004
This is gonna be a sensitive subject to talk about: HIV/AIDS. There's been recent "discussions" between 2 bloggers. One I personally know and the other, I don't. However, I can understand the pov's (points of views) of each sides, not that I'm taking sides.
I can certainly understand Ridor's pov. Being able to understand does not mean advocating something. I'm not here to interpret his views or whatever, nor am I defending him. For as long as I've known him, he's a unique individual who is certainly not afraid to air his opinions. May they be provocative or complimentary, they will be known.
My beliefs are a bit different than Ridor's. I can certainly understand what he meant, according to my interpretations, about open relationships. I, myself, do not advocate o/r's. To me, it's like having your cake and eating it as well. "I want a bf but I also want the freedom to sleep around." However, I do have friends that are in o/r's and I'm not going to scold them, because that is their business.
It is interesting how people and some friends of ours have approached my bf and I for a sexual encounter. They're surprised to learn that we have a closed relationship. This part is frustrating for us because it's like...do gays expect all relationships to be open?
Anyways, I can also understand Ryan's pov. So, he discloses his status to men before the encounter begins. I'm all for that. It's obvious that him and his bf have made some kind of agreement in regards to their relationship. Again, their business.
This is where I stand out, among my friends and others. I find this part interesting. I have asked friends and others if they would ever do a guy who is HIV+. To my surprise, the majority, of those I've asked, have said they would do it...along with protection and caution. I, on the other hand, would not, regardless. The only exception is if my bf became +.
I appreciate the fact that Ryan discloses his status, according to him. I know that if I were to be single again, I would hope that if I met an HIV+ guy, he would be honest to disclose his status. (Before I met Kitch, I was really ignorant for not asking guys about their status. I remembered that sometimes I would be paranoid after an encounter and I would just flee to the local clinic that offered free HIV testing, every now and then. To this day, I thank God for sparing me. [No offense.]) If he was +, then I would say "sorry but not interested...no offense." I wouldn't bash the guy or anything...but just walk away.
Now, these guys that chose to have an encounter with Ryan or with any poz men, that's their choice. I mean, if they get positive, they really don't have anyone to blame but themselves. Now, I know this is gonna spark some debates.
I can certainly understand the frustration that Ridor pointed out. He was a spectator of an event that included many men and yet only 4 condoms were found. You never know how many of those men are poz or have some kind of STD's. You just never know. (I'm sure you've read articles of poz people who have knowingly infected others and have been convicted in a few states.) My view is that TFB (too fucking bad) to the participants if they aquire something, later down the road.
Now, I have friends who have HIV. I certainly don't wish death upon them. I can only imagine what they're going through, since I cannot understand what it feels like to be with HIV/AIDS.
I'm not sure if Ridor was making a general statement to those with HIV/AIDS, with exception to his friends or not. Again, what Ridor said is what he stands by. I may not approve everything that he said. But because he's my friend and a bro., I accept him for who he is, regardless. I know for sure that Ridor hasn't expressed all his opinions about this, unless I'm wrong. I know that one day I will sit down with him and ask him and learn more about him. Isn't it fun to learn more about your friends?
Ryan, I wish you the best of life and hope you seek contentment in this journey.
A commenter, Jim, mentioned having a discussion. Like I said...this is a very sensitive topic and it's bound to ignite some frictions. Even just posting this entry is bound to reap some comments.
This HIV/AIDS topic can go on and on with many overlapping issues, so I'm gonna stop here while I can. I know I'm bound to offend some of you. If you can certainly take time to read this, then I'll try to take time to read your opinions. Regardless of your status or type of relationship or pov, I certainly wish everyone happiness in their lives.
ta ta for now
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I can certainly understand Ridor's pov. Being able to understand does not mean advocating something. I'm not here to interpret his views or whatever, nor am I defending him. For as long as I've known him, he's a unique individual who is certainly not afraid to air his opinions. May they be provocative or complimentary, they will be known.
My beliefs are a bit different than Ridor's. I can certainly understand what he meant, according to my interpretations, about open relationships. I, myself, do not advocate o/r's. To me, it's like having your cake and eating it as well. "I want a bf but I also want the freedom to sleep around." However, I do have friends that are in o/r's and I'm not going to scold them, because that is their business.
It is interesting how people and some friends of ours have approached my bf and I for a sexual encounter. They're surprised to learn that we have a closed relationship. This part is frustrating for us because it's like...do gays expect all relationships to be open?
Anyways, I can also understand Ryan's pov. So, he discloses his status to men before the encounter begins. I'm all for that. It's obvious that him and his bf have made some kind of agreement in regards to their relationship. Again, their business.
This is where I stand out, among my friends and others. I find this part interesting. I have asked friends and others if they would ever do a guy who is HIV+. To my surprise, the majority, of those I've asked, have said they would do it...along with protection and caution. I, on the other hand, would not, regardless. The only exception is if my bf became +.
I appreciate the fact that Ryan discloses his status, according to him. I know that if I were to be single again, I would hope that if I met an HIV+ guy, he would be honest to disclose his status. (Before I met Kitch, I was really ignorant for not asking guys about their status. I remembered that sometimes I would be paranoid after an encounter and I would just flee to the local clinic that offered free HIV testing, every now and then. To this day, I thank God for sparing me. [No offense.]) If he was +, then I would say "sorry but not interested...no offense." I wouldn't bash the guy or anything...but just walk away.
Now, these guys that chose to have an encounter with Ryan or with any poz men, that's their choice. I mean, if they get positive, they really don't have anyone to blame but themselves. Now, I know this is gonna spark some debates.
I can certainly understand the frustration that Ridor pointed out. He was a spectator of an event that included many men and yet only 4 condoms were found. You never know how many of those men are poz or have some kind of STD's. You just never know. (I'm sure you've read articles of poz people who have knowingly infected others and have been convicted in a few states.) My view is that TFB (too fucking bad) to the participants if they aquire something, later down the road.
Now, I have friends who have HIV. I certainly don't wish death upon them. I can only imagine what they're going through, since I cannot understand what it feels like to be with HIV/AIDS.
I'm not sure if Ridor was making a general statement to those with HIV/AIDS, with exception to his friends or not. Again, what Ridor said is what he stands by. I may not approve everything that he said. But because he's my friend and a bro., I accept him for who he is, regardless. I know for sure that Ridor hasn't expressed all his opinions about this, unless I'm wrong. I know that one day I will sit down with him and ask him and learn more about him. Isn't it fun to learn more about your friends?
Ryan, I wish you the best of life and hope you seek contentment in this journey.
A commenter, Jim, mentioned having a discussion. Like I said...this is a very sensitive topic and it's bound to ignite some frictions. Even just posting this entry is bound to reap some comments.
This HIV/AIDS topic can go on and on with many overlapping issues, so I'm gonna stop here while I can. I know I'm bound to offend some of you. If you can certainly take time to read this, then I'll try to take time to read your opinions. Regardless of your status or type of relationship or pov, I certainly wish everyone happiness in their lives.
ta ta for now
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