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Wednesday, April 21, 2004

This morning, KT and I got up and went to Hassan's memorial service. When we got there, there was already a good number of Deafies there, sitting behind the family. Toby seems to be holding up well. Nonetheless, it was good to see him.
Before the service started, I was veeing the funeral home. Coming from Texas, I'm used to everything being big and spacious. This was a small chapel room, with antique stuff. Then, I vee'd the family. I was trying to figure out who is who. They seem to be a loving family. One of Hassan's brother came up to speak and told a funny story and a poem. It was really sad.

Like Ridor said, Toby and Hassan have been together for almost a decade. I can't imagine losing your lover. KT and I joking tell each other, from time to time, that "I hope to go first, cuz I couldn't deal with your death." But then, when I stop to think about it, I don't think I could deal with KT's death, if it came to that. I love KT, even when we drive each other crazy or make each other pissy. KT isn't just my lover, he also has many other roles...my best friend, my advisor, my shoulder when I cry, and many other roles. Then, one day, he's gone.

Just like what my dad is going through. 30 years with my mother and she's gone. Imagine waking up one morning and you're all alone in a queen or king-sized bed. Wow, we sure do take life for granted.

Anyways, I know that Toby will survive through this time of sorrow. I'm sure he knows he's surrounded by friends. Ah, friends...can't live without 'em.

Cliff, just wanna say so sorry to hear about your beloved cat, Wyndow. I remember her being a little cute kitty. I so remember her being in heat, like every other day, before she finally was spayed. Every time I would pet her, she'd have her ass high in the air. I was like..wtf is she doing? "Oh, she's in heat." Again?
I know what it was like to have a cat with FIP. It's incurable. And it doesn't help when you have to put your cat to sleep. Cliff, I know you'll get through this, in time. You'll be alright.

I was thinking about my last entry from yesterday in regards to a letter/question that appeared in Dear Abby. I realized I overlooked the hearing wife. Yeah, I agree she's at fault as well. (It has been studied that hearing wives tend to be more fluent in signs than hearing husbands. Of course, we do not have enough information from the letter whether the deaf man was a signer or if the wife knew signs.)

I realized that this doesn't happened at social settings. It happens everyday with our families (exception to those from Deaf families). Assuming that this man has been deaf all his life, well then he is used to it. We grow up, complaining about how neglected we've been or how we've been marginalized. By the time we've reached adulthood, we've grown accustomed to that. It no longer bothers us and just rolls off our backs.

What Abby said speaks volumes. She has no inkling what she's talking about.

Reading that article made me appreciate KT even more. I thank God that he's Deaf just as I am. None of that shit of being left out or missing information. We both can experience and understand what it's like to be Deaf and Gay.

KT, I love you! woof, woof