CrispAds Blog Ads

Wednesday, June 23, 2004


Last night, KT and I watched a documentary about this man, Jim, who eventually got a sex change operation to be a female, Jamie. It was very interesting. At least, Jamie wasn't an angry person like the other documentary where this gal wanted to be a man.
Although, it was sad to see Jamie's marriage dissolve with Brenda. I know that Brenda took it hard because she said that in all their years in marriage, she knew that Jamie was holding back something from her and just couldn't figure it out. She was hurt because she never had all of Jim.
I think the worst part of this whole thing is their daughter. She's beginning her teen years. You know...remember your teen years. Moodiness, self-discovery, acne, body changes and figuring out the world. Imagine being a teen and then finding out that your dad wants to be a female.

Anyways, at one point of the film, Jamie said something like "why are all these people reacting to my change? it's really reserved for me to react." While I can understand Jamie's pov, but still. That's like your best friend that you've know since kindergarten and have remained friends for the next 40 years. Then, you get the news from your childhood best friend that he/she wants to change gender. How are you supposed to react like that?
For those of us that are gay, I think that we're more likely to accept their decision better than straight people. I think that's because we have been exposed to trangenders mingling within the gay and lesbian communities.
So, when someone does a change of that magnitude, of course people are going to react, whether it be positive or negative. Parents, siblings, partner/spouse, children, friends, co-workers, neighbors and others will be impacted by that decision.

It is kind of like suicide. I've read that suicides are often acts of selfishness (at least in the American cultural perspective). When suicide is committed, people react. When grieving for the loss, it is usually accompanied with anger. Anger towards that person for committing suicide and not thinking of others. Anger for not sharing his/her problems. Anger for not seeking help. Anger for not paying attention to clues for "cries of help" and to prevent one from occurring. Anger for many other reason.

Anyways, it was a fascinating documentary and helped me understand a little bit more about the transgendered community. Like the gay community, they face judgment and criticism from family, friends, work and other aspects of life. Yet, I think they have it a bit harder when it comes to relationships. The reason being is that they do or should inform that person, they're interested in, about their past. Most of the time, they're often rejected once their past has been revealed.

Yeah, it's a tough world to live in. Yet, life becomes easier to live when you have someone else going through the same journey as you are on.