Monday, October 18, 2004
Background...
I thought I'd go back a little in time before that fateful day that Mom told me that she had 3 weeks to live.
In November of 2001, Mom found out that she had cancer in her stomach. Her stomach was infested with cancer cells that the only way she would survive was to have her stomach surgically removed. And it had to be immediate. So, Mom had no choice but to have the surgery.
I had just gotten a new job the week before. I was still in training when I was informed about Mom's dilemna. At that point, I didn't care if I lost my job, Mom was important! However, work was understanding and let me go home. So, I rushed home, got online to purchase plane tickets, packed my bags and flew out. Of course, I was just experiencing a range of emotions at this point. I was angry, sad, scared and much more.
I landed in San Antonio and my parents were there to greet me. Here I am all emotional and my mother was just so calm about the whole thing. I had thought I'd be comforting her and all that but it was really the other way around. She was just happy to see me and kept saying that everything will be alright. So, the three of us spent the day together and took some long trips on memory lane. We just had a great time.
The next day, Mom was prepped for surgery. All the relatives huddled together in the waiting room, along with 3 interpreters, who were my friends as well. Just before she went in, my dad and I went in to see her one more time. I'm crying because I didn't know what the outcome of the surgery would be and yet, I was just trying to be brave about the whole thing. My mother, the whole time, was just smiling and keeping her hopes up.
By the way, my mother was having surgery where my dad worked. So, my dad knew all the doctors and the nurses that would be working on or taking care of Mom. Plus, the surgeron was supposed to be one of the best doctors in the region. So, Mom was in good hands.
While she was in surgery, we were back in the waiting room. I thought we'd be sitting there and just looking at the clock. But no, we were all just chatting and laughing, making the best of the situtation. It was at this point I was able to get more details what had been happening with Mom.
For like the past 4 or 5 years, prior to the surgery, Mom would complain of pain. She would go see numerous specialists and they would all assume it was her heart. (Figure that one out!) Anyways, this last doctor she had, it was a woman. This was like the first time Mom had a personal female doctor. Mom thought, this should be cool. She had been seeing this doctor for some time. However, at the last appointment, Mom went to see her because she was having pain. You know what the doctor told her. She told my mother that all kinds of test were ran on her and nothing appeared to tell her what was wrong. In other words, the doctor told her she believe that Mom was making it up. Oh goodness, Mom had a fit! She screamed at the doctor saying, I AM IN PAIN! She told her that all the other doctors would test her and nothing would come up. She thought it would be wonderful to have a female doctor, because hopefully that a woman would understand another woman about this health thing.
Mom had explained that sometimes women to go the hospitals but tests would not indicate what was wrong. Yet, women knew that there was something wrong with them and would continue to see doctors until something is found. (Yes, I know that sometimes people make up pains to get prescribed medications.) Growing up with my mother and joining her to see her friends, I would hear this story often among their conversations. So, Mom was just dumbfounded that her doctor would not believe her.
Well, that night, Mom was in so much pain that she had to go to the ER. It was there and then when it was discovered that she had cancer. You better believe it that the woman doctor stayed quiet and laid low! She never showed up at the hospital...hello, it was her patient. Never once called to offer an apology! The surgeon opted to make Mom his patient. Doctors usually refuse to take on a new patient without knowing their medical history...especially in risky cases. You see, my mother was also diabetic. Diabetes and surgery do not mix well together.
What was also puzzling about this whole thing was that nobody in our families knew of anyone who had cancer. We had no history of cancer. Diabetes...sure! Eventually, we discovered that Mom had a great aunt or something like that who had cancer. What kind? We'll never know.
About 3 to 4 hours later, Mom was out of surgery. The doctors came out and said that it was successful and she was recovering well. The doctors were able to confirm the the cancer cells did not spread to her other organs. We all breathed sighs of relief. What they did was removed the stomach and connected her esophagus to her intestines. So, Dad and I went in to see her. We were just crying! She was so brave about this whole thing. While she was lying there, recovering, she looked so little.
The next day, I came back to see her. She was in and out, from the painkillers. I could only see her for a short time because I had to fly back home. You know, work. I didn't want to go but I had to. I knew she was in good hands with the medical staff and Dad and her youngest sister, Mary. (I'll have to do a separate entry about my wonderful Aunt Mary.)
Well, Mom did well. The day I left, Mom was scheduled to get up from bed and walk around. However, she was in so much pain that she begged the doctors and Dad to let her stay in bed one more day before moving. I can imagine how she was feeling.
Back in Christmas '99, I had my gallbladder removed, along with 11 stones. Yes, 11 stones!!! Doctors have told me that I was so lucky my gallbladder didn't rupture because it it had, I would've been in my own little hell. I remember the day after the surgery, I was told to get out of bed and move around. O. M. G. ! I was in PAIN! I was like, I thought I was supposed to like relax for at least a week or whatever. Thank God I had vicodin. Mom told me that this was so strong that I was hallucinating, even in my sleep. She kept a watchful eye on me.
Dad told me that recovery time from surgery has been radically changed. It used to be that you'd stay in bed and recover from surgery...like from 3 days to a week or depending the severity of the surgery. However, it was noticed through research that infection is likely to occur the longer you stay in bed. So, nowadays, you'd have surgery and then the next day, it's get moving!
So, I had my gallbladder removed and was in pain. Yet, it faded away when I started to move around more. Imagine with my mother, all of her stomach was removed. Now, THAT is painful!
The second day after surgery, Mom was able to move, bit by bit. She was able to eventually get out of bed and walk around the hospital corridors. The doctors and nurses all loved her. She wasn't one of those patients that were just plain rude or cranky. (Dad has TONS of stories about horrible patients. Basically, nurses are treated like shit by patients and doctors. Dad says nursing is hell and requires patience. KT's mom is a nurse as well and she confirms that as well.)
Mom told me that when they removed her stomach, her hunger was gone. She never had pangs of hunger anymore. Yet, she still had to eat to give her body nutrients. She would eat like 2 to 4 forkfuls of food and she was full. After she would eat, she would have to zoom to the bathroom. No stomach, therefore no digestive juice.
After surgery, Mom had to go to the cancer center for radiation and chemo for 6 months. One time, I came back to visit. (KT was so nice! He surprised me with a plane ticket so I could visit Mom.) I went with her for a treatment session. She took me in and showed me the room and explained to me what they do for treatment. Technology has really improved the treatment procedure.
Whenever you see movies that deal with cancer, you often see the patient coming out of the hospital and they're running to the bathroom, when they get home, to puke their guts out. I had assumed that was what my mother was dealing with when she was going through her treatments. Oh no. She gets on this table, kinda like an MRI. But instead of going into the tunnel to get scanned, it's open. There's only this crane-like arm. It'll do a 360-rotation around your body, sending out radiation or whatever invisible stuff. Then, she gets a chemo shot. Then, she's done. She's in and out in about 30 minutes. Then, she's gone shopping or doing whatever she wants to do.
After 6 months, she was given a clean bill of health. No cancer, no nothing. We were all like...PTL!
The surgery did have some positive outcomes for my mother. One, Mom lost a little over 100 pounds. Due to the weight loss, she was no longer diabetic and could stop injecting insulin. Mom, for the longest time, had always wanted to cut her hair. However, she would just leave it long and dye it red, frequently. (Mom loved being a redhead.) Well, she finally got short hair and dyed it blonde. That was a surprise for me, as well as for everyone else. Then, she got herself a sports car, a Hyundai Tiburon. Whoa! She was living the life!
Mom wasn't supposed to work again. Yet, she was back the following Fall to resume teaching. She LOVED teaching. She has taught kindergarten for like 15 years. The other 5 years, she took some time off, or taught other grade levels. One year, she taught at another private school. It was a new school and they needed someone with experience to help them get off the ground and Mom agreed to help out for a year.
You know that parents can get on our nerves! Well, Mom and I weren't any different. I used to vent to KT how Mom used to bug me about certain things. We were really close. So close that sometimes people thought we were brothers and sisters. We used to laugh about that. Anyways, when Mom had the surgery, I told myself that I almost lost her and didn't want the tensions or the bickerings to separate us. So, I learn to tolerate her constant emails to keep her updated or at least email her that I was ok. (Mom worried about me endlessly. But that's Mom!)
Yeah, I know I said I'd post some pics. I haven't forgotten that. Will do that soon!
|
In November of 2001, Mom found out that she had cancer in her stomach. Her stomach was infested with cancer cells that the only way she would survive was to have her stomach surgically removed. And it had to be immediate. So, Mom had no choice but to have the surgery.
I had just gotten a new job the week before. I was still in training when I was informed about Mom's dilemna. At that point, I didn't care if I lost my job, Mom was important! However, work was understanding and let me go home. So, I rushed home, got online to purchase plane tickets, packed my bags and flew out. Of course, I was just experiencing a range of emotions at this point. I was angry, sad, scared and much more.
I landed in San Antonio and my parents were there to greet me. Here I am all emotional and my mother was just so calm about the whole thing. I had thought I'd be comforting her and all that but it was really the other way around. She was just happy to see me and kept saying that everything will be alright. So, the three of us spent the day together and took some long trips on memory lane. We just had a great time.
The next day, Mom was prepped for surgery. All the relatives huddled together in the waiting room, along with 3 interpreters, who were my friends as well. Just before she went in, my dad and I went in to see her one more time. I'm crying because I didn't know what the outcome of the surgery would be and yet, I was just trying to be brave about the whole thing. My mother, the whole time, was just smiling and keeping her hopes up.
By the way, my mother was having surgery where my dad worked. So, my dad knew all the doctors and the nurses that would be working on or taking care of Mom. Plus, the surgeron was supposed to be one of the best doctors in the region. So, Mom was in good hands.
While she was in surgery, we were back in the waiting room. I thought we'd be sitting there and just looking at the clock. But no, we were all just chatting and laughing, making the best of the situtation. It was at this point I was able to get more details what had been happening with Mom.
For like the past 4 or 5 years, prior to the surgery, Mom would complain of pain. She would go see numerous specialists and they would all assume it was her heart. (Figure that one out!) Anyways, this last doctor she had, it was a woman. This was like the first time Mom had a personal female doctor. Mom thought, this should be cool. She had been seeing this doctor for some time. However, at the last appointment, Mom went to see her because she was having pain. You know what the doctor told her. She told my mother that all kinds of test were ran on her and nothing appeared to tell her what was wrong. In other words, the doctor told her she believe that Mom was making it up. Oh goodness, Mom had a fit! She screamed at the doctor saying, I AM IN PAIN! She told her that all the other doctors would test her and nothing would come up. She thought it would be wonderful to have a female doctor, because hopefully that a woman would understand another woman about this health thing.
Mom had explained that sometimes women to go the hospitals but tests would not indicate what was wrong. Yet, women knew that there was something wrong with them and would continue to see doctors until something is found. (Yes, I know that sometimes people make up pains to get prescribed medications.) Growing up with my mother and joining her to see her friends, I would hear this story often among their conversations. So, Mom was just dumbfounded that her doctor would not believe her.
Well, that night, Mom was in so much pain that she had to go to the ER. It was there and then when it was discovered that she had cancer. You better believe it that the woman doctor stayed quiet and laid low! She never showed up at the hospital...hello, it was her patient. Never once called to offer an apology! The surgeon opted to make Mom his patient. Doctors usually refuse to take on a new patient without knowing their medical history...especially in risky cases. You see, my mother was also diabetic. Diabetes and surgery do not mix well together.
What was also puzzling about this whole thing was that nobody in our families knew of anyone who had cancer. We had no history of cancer. Diabetes...sure! Eventually, we discovered that Mom had a great aunt or something like that who had cancer. What kind? We'll never know.
About 3 to 4 hours later, Mom was out of surgery. The doctors came out and said that it was successful and she was recovering well. The doctors were able to confirm the the cancer cells did not spread to her other organs. We all breathed sighs of relief. What they did was removed the stomach and connected her esophagus to her intestines. So, Dad and I went in to see her. We were just crying! She was so brave about this whole thing. While she was lying there, recovering, she looked so little.
The next day, I came back to see her. She was in and out, from the painkillers. I could only see her for a short time because I had to fly back home. You know, work. I didn't want to go but I had to. I knew she was in good hands with the medical staff and Dad and her youngest sister, Mary. (I'll have to do a separate entry about my wonderful Aunt Mary.)
Well, Mom did well. The day I left, Mom was scheduled to get up from bed and walk around. However, she was in so much pain that she begged the doctors and Dad to let her stay in bed one more day before moving. I can imagine how she was feeling.
Back in Christmas '99, I had my gallbladder removed, along with 11 stones. Yes, 11 stones!!! Doctors have told me that I was so lucky my gallbladder didn't rupture because it it had, I would've been in my own little hell. I remember the day after the surgery, I was told to get out of bed and move around. O. M. G. ! I was in PAIN! I was like, I thought I was supposed to like relax for at least a week or whatever. Thank God I had vicodin. Mom told me that this was so strong that I was hallucinating, even in my sleep. She kept a watchful eye on me.
Dad told me that recovery time from surgery has been radically changed. It used to be that you'd stay in bed and recover from surgery...like from 3 days to a week or depending the severity of the surgery. However, it was noticed through research that infection is likely to occur the longer you stay in bed. So, nowadays, you'd have surgery and then the next day, it's get moving!
So, I had my gallbladder removed and was in pain. Yet, it faded away when I started to move around more. Imagine with my mother, all of her stomach was removed. Now, THAT is painful!
The second day after surgery, Mom was able to move, bit by bit. She was able to eventually get out of bed and walk around the hospital corridors. The doctors and nurses all loved her. She wasn't one of those patients that were just plain rude or cranky. (Dad has TONS of stories about horrible patients. Basically, nurses are treated like shit by patients and doctors. Dad says nursing is hell and requires patience. KT's mom is a nurse as well and she confirms that as well.)
Mom told me that when they removed her stomach, her hunger was gone. She never had pangs of hunger anymore. Yet, she still had to eat to give her body nutrients. She would eat like 2 to 4 forkfuls of food and she was full. After she would eat, she would have to zoom to the bathroom. No stomach, therefore no digestive juice.
After surgery, Mom had to go to the cancer center for radiation and chemo for 6 months. One time, I came back to visit. (KT was so nice! He surprised me with a plane ticket so I could visit Mom.) I went with her for a treatment session. She took me in and showed me the room and explained to me what they do for treatment. Technology has really improved the treatment procedure.
Whenever you see movies that deal with cancer, you often see the patient coming out of the hospital and they're running to the bathroom, when they get home, to puke their guts out. I had assumed that was what my mother was dealing with when she was going through her treatments. Oh no. She gets on this table, kinda like an MRI. But instead of going into the tunnel to get scanned, it's open. There's only this crane-like arm. It'll do a 360-rotation around your body, sending out radiation or whatever invisible stuff. Then, she gets a chemo shot. Then, she's done. She's in and out in about 30 minutes. Then, she's gone shopping or doing whatever she wants to do.
After 6 months, she was given a clean bill of health. No cancer, no nothing. We were all like...PTL!
The surgery did have some positive outcomes for my mother. One, Mom lost a little over 100 pounds. Due to the weight loss, she was no longer diabetic and could stop injecting insulin. Mom, for the longest time, had always wanted to cut her hair. However, she would just leave it long and dye it red, frequently. (Mom loved being a redhead.) Well, she finally got short hair and dyed it blonde. That was a surprise for me, as well as for everyone else. Then, she got herself a sports car, a Hyundai Tiburon. Whoa! She was living the life!
Mom wasn't supposed to work again. Yet, she was back the following Fall to resume teaching. She LOVED teaching. She has taught kindergarten for like 15 years. The other 5 years, she took some time off, or taught other grade levels. One year, she taught at another private school. It was a new school and they needed someone with experience to help them get off the ground and Mom agreed to help out for a year.
You know that parents can get on our nerves! Well, Mom and I weren't any different. I used to vent to KT how Mom used to bug me about certain things. We were really close. So close that sometimes people thought we were brothers and sisters. We used to laugh about that. Anyways, when Mom had the surgery, I told myself that I almost lost her and didn't want the tensions or the bickerings to separate us. So, I learn to tolerate her constant emails to keep her updated or at least email her that I was ok. (Mom worried about me endlessly. But that's Mom!)
Yeah, I know I said I'd post some pics. I haven't forgotten that. Will do that soon!
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