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Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Some time ago, KT and I started watching this documentary series, Transgeneration, on Sundance channel. This documentary series involve 4 college transgenders, across the nation. They are Gabbie, Raci (both are male to female), Lucas and T.J (both are female to male). This series filmed all of them going through the motion of getting hormones, showing some gradual changes and getting the sex reassignment surguries.

Raci is an interesting character. She is a Filipino, who is deaf but does not know sign language. Last week was a funny episode. Well, first of all, she befriended a captionist, who is gay. Well, one day, they were having a conversation while getting an illegal supply of hormones on the street. Raci kept misunderstanding him. Frustrated, he tells her, "you need to learn sign language!" It was just hilarious. Throughout the series, Raci constantly has her index finger pressed onto her hearing aid. As if pressing on to her hearing aid would help her understand speech better. However, she also presses it when she's talking. It must be that her hearing aid mold is too small or there must be a hole in the tube.
I wear a hearing aid. However, I could not imagine pressing on the hearing aid all day long. Either get another one (a better one, that is) or stop wearing it.
Anyways, there were a couple of incidents where the captionist signed to Raci. However, Raci made no acknowledgement of the signs or whether she understood or not. I assume she's not getting an interpreter for her classes at CSU-Los Angeles because there was another episode where she was just falling behind in classes.

Gabbie is just obnoxious! She's just an ungrateful and thoughtless person. She's somewhat withdrawn and is just self-centered! Ugh! I just don't like her.
There was a friend of hers (a male to female) who was getting one of the surgeries done towards sexual reassignment. Gabbie was supposed to accompany her, since it is a big deal for both of them. However, Gabbie decided not to go with her friend. She decided to become "more serious" about school, when she was already lagging behind or whatever. Her friend was just disappointed and had to call her mother to come in with her instead.
After the surgery, her friend came to visit Gabbie to have a frank talk about their friendship and how thoughtless she was on this important "milestone" of the surgery, since Gabbie would be up next. Gabbie just sat there like a wall. She just said "sorry" but wasn't remoreful or anything. She even let out a little careless laugh. It was obvious that Gabbie didn't care. When her friend left, it was obvious that their friendship dissipated.
At the night before Gabbie's surgery, she went home to her family for a dinner. Obviously, her parents had a hard time with Gabbie's desire to be a woman. However, they've come to terms with it. They're so supportive that they're footing the bill for her surgery. What nice parents they are!! However, Gabbie was just really rude. Her parents were talking about how hard it was for them to deal with things but that they were able to listen and eventually deal with it all with an open mind. Gabbie was like...whatever, you'll are just making excuses. I mean, really, it's a life- and mind-shattering thing to deal with when a child tells you that they're "trapped in the wrong gender" or that they wanna be the opposite sex, via surgery. Gabbie just didn't want to give them credit for coming to terms with it.

Lucas and his friend, Kasey, also female to male transgender, are students at Smith College. Yes, Smith College is an all women college in Massachusetts. Smith College forbade filming on campus. Lucas and Kasey both vented frustration because Smith College would not recognize them as successful aspiring students. They just simply "hid them behind a wall" or whatever.
It's really hard to know where to stand. Obviously, Smith College has traditionally been a women's college. Lucas and Kasey want to be fully males. So, why the heck would they want to continue education at Smith? Why not just transfer to another college that would accept and recognize them? Apparently, they've started out at Smith as females and gradually started to take hormones towards completion of the transition. I guess they've felt that they have invested so much time (and money) into Smith and did not want to transfer.

T.J. is from Cyprus. His phone conversation with his mother are stressful and emotional. His mother is like..."are you crazy?!? what the hell are you doing?!?" It's one of those numerous lines that the GLBTiQ members have frequently heard from families and friends when they come out.
T.J. has a girlfriend, Staci, and she does know about his transition. Staci is one of those people who uses this "I don't use labels" line and falls in love with whomever her heart beats for. However, you can see that T.J. is sometimes frustrated with Staci because T.J. would ask from time to time about the status of their relationship. Staci would just not talk about it. She just resorts to kissing and hugging T.J. T.J. is like trying to get her to talk. But, when Staci's phone rings, she's quick to answer it and go into a lengthy talk and T.J. is like, "uh, hello?"

*fuckity fuck! I had wrote a longer entry after this point but the computer froze. So, I'm re-writing the rest*

I just cannot imagine what goes through the minds of parents when being told by their children that they don't feel right with their given physical gender and want to have surgeries to correct that. It is common to read or hear from parents of transgenders that they mourn the "death" of their children when they get their sex reassignment surgeries. It has to be mind-blowing to deal with your own flesh and blood being of another gender and thus, another identity.

Transgenders...wow...all I can say is good luck and hope that you will achieve that state of happiness. Sure, there are some things you will go through that gay people will also go through. For example, we will encounter people, including family members and friends, who will not be understanding of our identities and the search of "the one" to share life and love. We will face discrimination in various aspects of our lives. The law will not always protect or respect us. There's just so many things and obstacles we will experience, whether collectively or individually.
It is unfortunate that there are some members of the GLBTiQ communities that will not accept you. I do not know why there are resistance to accept you when we're striving for acceptance as well. (Double standard, isn't it?) I will not pretend that I fully understand your plight. However, I can understand and respect your desire to be able to be truly yourselves and to achieve happiness. After all, isn't that what we're all aiming for?

Well, ta ta for now...